My Biggest Game Crushes of All Time
by Joseph Rowe
Everyone has had a crush on a video game character at one point in their life or another. If they say they have not, that's because they're lying about the butterflies they get in their stomach every time they get the T-shaped block in Tetris. You know, the one with those sexy angles.
I have had a fair share in my time and if you're not going to own up to your video game sweethearts, then I will shamelessly gush on about mine. Here is the list of my biggest game crushes of all time:
#9 Marina Wulfstan
Valkyria Chronicles is an underrated game filled with a cast of memorable characters. One character in particular stood out to me: Marina Wulfstan. While not one of the main characters, the bits of dialogue she had in the game were enough to let her adorably shy personality win her a sure spot in my sortie as well as in my heart.
#8 Lara Croft
I would be remiss if I didn't include the protagonist of the Tomb Raider series Lara Croft. If you were alive in the '90s and played video games, chances are you had a soft spot for Lara at one time or another.
The most recent entry in the series renewed my love for this character. I was worried that her reinvention could go awry, but I was pleased with the way she was handled. There's just something about a girl who can down a Japanese ogre with a bow and arrow.
#8 Solid Snake/Naked Snake/Whatever-Kojima-Calls-It-Now Snake
It's pretty common for games to have fan service costumes for women, something that usually shows off their bosom. However, very few are known for putting men in something revealing.
Kojima's games stand apart: the Metal Gear series' main characters have always had some righteous buns to show off in some deliciously skin tight suits. Snake's butt throughout the years has always made me blush in my upper cheeks.
I will admit my shameful secret: I have never played a Persona RPG. I have, however, played a decent amount of the fighting game and in the process of doing so, I have developed a bit of a thing for Elizabeth. I don't know if it's the adorable outfit she wears or her goofy personality, but I would social link her any day of the week.
The entire Darkstalkers cast is filled with some attractive folks. Whether it's Morrigan the succubus, Felicia the nearly nude catgirl, or Hsien-Ko the hoppin' hottie. None of these lovely ladies match up to Rikuo. Not only is he curiously attractive for a fish man, but he's got a set of moves that leave his opponents stunned (literally.) It's no wonder he's my main in the fighting game series, as well as the love of my life.
#4 King of All Cosmos
There comes a point in time in every person's life where they are confronted with a being of such fabulousness that they are left with two options: weep in despair knowing that they will never reach such levels of fantasti-tude or embrace their inferior position and let the King of All Cosmos into their heart. Will you side with the bulge or not?
#3 Princess Zelda/Sheik/Tetra
Princess Zelda is another character, like Lara Croft, that's probably on everyone's list. Some people prefer the original, others prefer the Ocarina of Time version, but I personally thought she was best in Wind Waker as Tetra.
She had a feistiness to her personality in Wind Waker that was absolutely charming. Plus she commanded a crew of pirates. Who doesn't love an empowered woman?
#2 Princess Peach
Princess Peach is another one of those characters that was probably everyone's video game crush at one time or another. She's not just a damsel in distress: she's the damsel in distress. She is an icon of gaming. Others try and copy the princess-in-need-of-rescuing and fall flat, but Peach has a character that is still loveable decades after her first appearance.
My personal favorite Peach appearance was in the Super Smash Bros. Melee when she could cause explosions by hip checking her opponents. Not only is the dame classy, she's got some fire to her.
The end all, be all of my video game crushes. Chun-Li has had this spot ever since I first set eyes on her in my toddlerhood when she was in Street Fighter II: the World Warrior for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. In fact, when I was a wee babe, I would walk up to the TV screen when my brother was playing SF2 and try and kiss her portrait any time it came up.
Every time I have played a Street Fighter game for the first time, I always play Chunners first. Sometimes, she does not end up being my main (like in the case of Super SF4 when I became addicted to playing E. Honda), but she will always be my favorite. It was love at first fight.
Do you have a character that you've always had a soft spot for? Do you yearn for a certain pixelated somebody? Let us know in the comments.Originally Published Jul. 15th 2013