Top 5 Weirdest Things You Can Eat in RPGs

Go ahead: Slap on a bib and dig in as we take a look at some of the weirdest foods in the RPG world.
Go ahead: Slap on a bib and dig in as we take a look at some of the weirdest foods in the RPG world.

Sometimes, the food our characters eat in RPGs can be rather strange. And even weirder can be the status effects that they have. From increasing HP to curing all sorts of diseases, food in video games can at times make you scratch your head. 

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From the odd but edible to things that have nothing to do with food (but your character can eat anyway), these are the Top 5 Weirdest Things You Can Eat in RPGs.

5. Cup of Lifenoodles (Earthbound)

As tasty as these noodles seem to be, the concept of this food item is just odd. It’s a cup of gas station ramen noodles that have the power to instantly get rid of any of the dozens of status ailments present in Earthbound. This means that these noodles are an all in one miracle cure.

From asthma to blindness, homesickness to poisoning, and unconsciousness to uncontrollable crying (!), there’s nothing this soup can’t cure.

(Oddly, real-life Ramen noodles, while tasty, are nearly the complete opposite. Just look at those nutrition facts!)

4. Dog Salad (Undertale)

Tongue in cheek humor is one of the most endearing aspects of Undertale. It flows into every part of the game, including the food items available for purchase.

There are an assortment of edibles in the game, some of which sound rather tasty. Among these are butterscotch pie, the glamburger and the Legendary Hero, a sandwich shaped like a sword.

However, there are plenty of strange, and frankly inedible, items as well. And topping them all is Dog Salad.

Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is. Dog. Salad. 

This (gross) item increases your health at random intervals, and accompanying each amount of health gain is a different, sometimes gross, recipe: 

  • Oh. There are bones…2 HP is Healed
  • Oh. Fried tennis ball…10 HP is Healed
  • Oh. Tastes yappy…30 HP is Healed
  • It’s literally garbage???- All HP is Healed 

Yeah, it gets a little weird. 

3. Pillow (Dracula)

Do text based games without any graphics count as RPGs?

Probably not, but this is too funny to not include.

In Dracula for the Commodore 64, you play as the Prince of Darkness himself, and type in commands for him to follow and act out. One of these is the “Eat” command. You can make him eat just about anything, including, of all things, a pillow.

And, what does the greatest vampire to ever “live” have to say in response to swallowing a pillow?

“Yuck.”

Yeah, we’ll have to agree with old vamp-head on this one. Yuck. And speaking of gross …

2. Vomit and Roaches (Diary of a Spaceport Janitor)

This little known indie title is just strange all around. There’s no epic adventure; you just pick up trash. Whoo!

However, fittingly for this game’s offbeat nature, some of the things you can eat are vomit and roaches. Like the pillow in Dracula, these repugnant noms don’t have any status effects, but unlike the pillow, there’s an actual purpose to eating them.

It’s because…you’re a janitor! That’s it. Really. Because sweeping this junk up wasn’t enough. 

1. Whaka Bump (Paper Mario)

“A lump of something,” it’s called in the flavor text. Those of you who haven’t played the Paper Mario games may not know what that “Something” is. Well …

It’s flesh.

Specifically, it’s the forehead bump that you knock off of this little guy:

And SOMEHOW, eating the uncooked forehead bump of this mole-like creature causes the restoration of 25 HP and 25 HP.

Video. Game. Logic. It never ceases to amaze. Who knew Mario was such a monster.

So there you have it. Video game food is weird and often doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense. But if game world’s were just filled with cheeseburgers and pizzas, they also wouldn’t be unique, would they? 

If you had to eat one of these things, which would you choose? What’s the weirdest thing YOU’VE ever eaten in an RPG? Let us know in the comments!

 

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Author
Unclepulky
An all-around nerd, a political activist, and, most importantly, a writer, Bobby Singer has a passion for storytelling, and dreams of writing comics and feature films.