Armor? The Dragon's Crown Amazon Doesn't Need Armor

It's almost cheating, but the Amazon Armor from Dragon's Crown is the clear winner.

A scenario, if you will: 

The Amazon knew what she wanted the moment she dropped into the local blacksmiths shop. She'd had to duck her head in. 

"Pauldron's? A chest plate?" The smithy had asked, eyes towards her freakishly muscular frame. 

But the Amazon knew what she wanted. 

"A chainmail bikini please! Scaly so that it will deflect arrows and cover my no-no areas." She said, the blacksmiths eyes going cross.

"Are you sure? That seems completely ridiculous." He cautioned.

"Oh right." She had sighed. The smithy relaxed. "I suppose that my shins need to be covered. For what is a warrior without shiny metallic shin guards." 

"Uh, a sensible human being?" The smithy postulated. "Are you sure that there is nothing else you need? The way is dangerous. There are people with sharp pointy things." 

"I suppose a gold bicep band would be tres chic." She said, throwing her giant battleaxe on top of the counter. "Do we have a deal." 

And with that, the Amazon took her scale mail bikini and shiny metallic boots, hopefully off for a career in punting small woodland creatures as that was all she was outfitted for. 


The armor is the standard armor for the Amazon class in Dragon's Crown. I've never played the game since it looks like it's targeted towards a slightly different demographic, but as it's the standard armor I believe it gives you no rewards other than her heaving bosoms. 

Published Feb. 8th 2014
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