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Man Stabbed by Legend of Zelda's Master Sword In Serious Condition

In a bizarre domestic dispute, one man gets hit in the head with a flower pot, and another gets stabbed by the Master Sword.

While real life largely prohibits budding Heroes of Time with full hearts from shooting sword laser magic across the screen, it doesn't stop people from getting poked by pointy objects.

A Texas man was hospitalized earlier this week and was reportedly in "serious condition" after he was stabbed by a replica sword fashioned after the Legend of Zelda's famous Master Sword. 

Armed with a replica Master Sword, Thompson stood up to the ex to defend himself.

The 'attacker', Eugene Thompson (now being labeled across the internet as the "Zelda dude") told police that it all began with a heated argument with his girlfriend - who then proceeded to call her ex-husband for help. Armed with a replica Master Sword, Thompson stood up to the ex to defend himself.

As Thompson retells the story afterward:

“And I pulled it out and I stood in the doorway and he was just coming down that hall at me while I was yelling ‘Go away you don’t live here,’” Thompson said. “And he just walked right into the point. I don’t know if he thought it was a toy.”

Many replica Master Swords are toys, made from a variety of materials from foam to wood to fibreglass, but with the Legend of Zelda's long-held legacy to fan hearts and cosplay dreams, more replicas are made of steel. Like the cheap Chinese swords that populate curios shops and weaboo mantles, these replicas may not all be battle-ready, but they will certainly be enough to seriously injure another person.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2014/03/04/man-stabbed-with-legend-of-zelda-master-sword-in-critical-condition/

(A replica Master Sword made by fiberglassblades.com for example only; this is not necessarily the exact weapon used in the domestic dispute)

The ex-husband suffered stab wounds to the chest and leg, but this was allegedly after he hit Thompson over the head with a flower pot.

While the altercation ended in a trip to the hospital for the ex, Thompson was treated for a head gash. Authorities have still not said whether charges will be filed in the incident.

How bizarre.

There's no other way to say it.

Of course, I am extremely curious as to how this turn of events will unfold, especially since Thompson's version of events appear a shade too self-serving - one would think that simply "walking into the point" sounds extremely neat and accidental when faced with the factual evidence that there were multiple stab wounds.

I don't know about you, but I would not step up to bat for seconds against a real sword if I were only armed with a flower pot.

But has this ever happened before?

Yes and no. While this appears to be the first instance involving a man being stabbed by a Master Sword specifically, there actually have been quite a few sword-related incidents involving samurai swords.

For instance, in 2007, in a town in the Tyneside region of England, a group of men pretending to be police forced their way into a women's home. Two plainclothes officers, unarmed and outnumbered, attempted to intervene, even though the thieves were armed with a hammer, knives, and a metal chain. In the middle of the hand to hand combat, a mystery man appeared wielding a samurai sword - slashing it widely from side to side, he wounded at least one of the robbers, surprising and panicking them.

The police officers were able to arrest three of the thieves. In the melee, the mysterious samurai disappeared. Though it appears he was never heard from again, the police were asking the public to be on the lookout for him, determined to arrest the vigilante savior.

In late 2012 on Christmas Eve, another unarmed police officer in north London ran into a different sword-wielding individual... but this one was much less interested in playing samurai Batman. 

A woman was attacked one night by a crazed individual with a three-foot long samurai sword in a random street attack. Nearby residents reported hearing the horrible screaming as she lay bleeding heavily on the ground. 

An unnamed sergeant stepped in to confront the man and ask him to put his weapon down, but the man turned on him instead, threatening him with his sword before he was eventually tackled and arrested. 

Inside his bag were hunting knives, a crossbow, a mallet, more samurai-type swords, and a gas mask.

From this, I hope we can conclude that this kind of thing... doesn't just happen to video game nerds.

Published Mar. 8th 2014
  • Xavier's
    Featured Correspondent
    I hope it didn't conflict with the Zelda timeline, god knows that thing is complicated as hell.
  • Rothalack
    Master O' Bugs
    There are some crazy people out there. What can you do?
  • Fathoms_4209
    Featured Columnist
    That'll teach you to mess with Link's sword.
  • Stephanie Tang
    Featured Columnist
    Maybe if you threw a chicken at him.

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