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Like Ninja Spinki Challenges? Cool, Your Tastes Are Awful

It's rare to come across a game so half-baked, terribly developed, and predatory. But here we are with Ninja Spinki Challenges!

Remember the Flappy Bird craze and how the creator took the game off of Google Play and iTunes? Nearly three years later, Flappy Bird creator Dong Nguyen is back with another game with similarly difficult gameplay: Ninja Spinki Challenges.

Flappy Bird may have only had one way to play, but Ninja Spinki Challenges sports six different modes to take you to task. Hard as nails and just as difficult to put down for some, it's definitely a Dong Nguyen game. Despite the multiple modes, much like Flappy Bird it's a terrible experience from start to finish.

This title has one issue -- one issue that brings it down and ultimately makes it a total nightmare to bother playing: It's crazy laggy. It's not all that fun on its own in the first place, but the lag makes it all that much worse.

Now, you're not going to see lag all the time. Oh no, it can't be that simple. You're going to see little ticks of it every few seconds. In a game where split-second reflexes are so important, the lag becomes a real problem -- and that real problem becomes your biggest foe in Ninja Spinki Challenges.

There is no reward here

You want to feel like you're getting better at a game the more you play it, right? Everyone does. With practice comes skill -- but in Ninja Spinki Challenges your accumulated skill is completely hindered by the game's chuggy lag and unresponsive controls. Jumping over fruit and dodging cats has never been so frustrating and unrewarding as it is here.

There's a certain appeal to unresponsive controls in that you feel like a real master if you get used to them, but that's not the case with lag. Especially sporadic lag that happens multiple times within a single round of a minigame. That is not all right, and frankly it's disappointing that a game this poorly made and put together is getting popular.

None of this even touches on the game's terrible in-app advertising, which can start as soon as a round ends and can take an eternity to load no matter the speed of your connection.

And I'm not talking about the opt-ins to continue, I'm talking about the rare random ones after you finish a round. You cannot back out of the ads. All you can do is wait for them to load or close the app completely. Which I recommend, because between the awful controls, lag, and long ad loading...Ninja Spinki Challenges is complete garbage.

You expect people to have some eye for quality or standards and they just don't.

The fact this game has a 4.6 on the Play Store at the time of writing is putting a serious dent in my faith in humanity. In an age where there are so many game options right at our fingertips and people choose to waste their bandwidth and time on this 64Mb of rancid crap.

I'd wager that if you enjoy Ninja Spinki Challenges and have spent more than a couple hours on this vomit-inducing pile you are either a masochist or a moron -- maybe even a bit of both, who knows. I'm not you, I'm just telling you that your tastes are equivalent to that of a toddler.

I can understand 5 or 6 year-old kids enjoying this unapologetically exploitative drag of a game, but adults? Get your act together. The fact any adult could play this game and go, "Yep, I'm having fun. This is fine," is mind-boggling. Do people really talk themselves into believing something like this is not only good, but warranted?

If this were a review, I'd give Ninja Spinki Challenges a square 2. It would be a big fat red 0 if not for the basic appeal of these types of arcade-style games. There are definitely better ones out there -- games that the developers actually give a crap about and put effort into and don't stuff ads down your throat with every few minutes. That's not the case here. I think I'd rather drink bleach than play this game again.

So ultimately, here's my big tip (because that's what my boss wanted) for doing well in Ninja Spinki Challenges: Uninstall it.

Published Jan. 30th 2017

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