In honor of Father’s Day I tried to make Top Ten list of the best dads in gaming. But after thinking about it for about 20 seconds, I realized that there aren’t many live parents in games, let alone dads. And most of that handful of dads that do show up are terrible, terrible people.
So without further ado, here’s:
3. Zeus, from God of War
Yes, that’s Zeus murdering his son Kratos up there. It’s one of the first things he does when God of War 2 starts, and according to what the audience knows at the time, it’s for no good reason. After that, he decides to go to Kratos’ hometown of Sparta and personally stomped it to rubble, along with everyone in it. Again, for no good reason.
See, in the God of War series, Zeus is one very paranoid man. He killed his own dad for trying to eat him (which is an alright reason, I guess), and then followed it up by killing all of his innocent titan friends and relatives, just for being titans (a less alright reason).
So naturally he assumed that because he was a bloodthirsty psycho, his own children would want to kill him too. To fair, Kratos is one angry, blood-hungry dude, so Zeus’ fear is a bit justified, but Kratos had zero intention of wanting to off his dad (until, of course, his dad offed him). All the while, he tries to justify it to people by saying “it’s all for the good of Olympus.”
So he kills his kids and their towns, he’s a sadistic megalomaniac, he’s a terribly unfaithful spouse, and a gigantic hypocrite. He’s a bad dad. I’d hate him more if Kratos didn’t deserve to be impaled, but he’s still a very bad dad. But not as bad as:
2. Phillip Holmes, from Beyond: Two Souls
He’s not a god. He’s not a murderer. He’s not even one of the main characters. But it’s the realism that makes this instance of a bad dad so, so much worse.
It’s hard to describe how absolutely hateful this piece of trash is without a complete rundown of all the stuff he did or failed to do, so I’ll just show you:
In case this link ever breaks, it’s a scene where Jodie’s parents essentially abandon her at a research facility. Phillip poorly feigns concern before saying goodbye and walking off. Jodie’s mother tearfully says her goodbyes while
Phillip needles her to cut it out and ditch her. It’s here where you may choose to use Aiden (your invisible ghost friend) to strangle him. You don’t kill him, but Phillip loses his thin veneer of false love and screams at Jodie, calling her evil and a monster.
Jeez. Slaughtering titans and razing cities has nothing on shouting at a little girl and abandoning her in a government lab. While Zeus did a lot more evil, this guy managed to make me genuinely enraged. Screw this guy.
1. Yoshi
Has it occurred to none of you that Yoshi hurls his unborn offspring at people? At least the other two dads let their kids live for a while before annihilating bodies and souls, this heartless reptilian scum just chucks babies at passerby by the dozen.
Nobody does filicide like Yoshi does. What a monster.
