Insanely Expensive Pokemon Merch That You'll Still Want to Buy

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Feel like being a Pokemon die hard today? Well, you and just about everyone else on the face of the Earth has been falling into the craze that is Pokemon Go, reviving a franchise many had long since forgotten as a simple childhood memory.

But now that our favorite fighting creatures are back, you're probably buying all the cards once again. Maybe you're even keeping an eye out on the latest amiibo to see if anymore Pokemon ones have popped up. It's ridiculous, you know it, but you can't help but feed your inner child to catch Pokemon in the real world through your handy dandy smartphone. So why try and fight your desire to collect all the Pokemon stuff in the world too?

And we're not just talking about picking up a few Pokemon shirts or a Pikachu onesie. Oh no -- if you really want to be the biggest Pokemon die hard of them all, to be the very best like no one ever was, you're going to have to start looking for the real treasures out there. And these eight ludicrously expensive Pokemon toys are a good place to start feeding your newfound addiction, no matter how much your wallet begs you not to.

Dittochu Plush Toy

Price: $300-500

Oh no, that's not some weird Chinese knock off plush toy you're looking at, this is actually a Nintendo licensed product that fetches a steep price today. Anyone familiar with the Pokemon Ditto knows he can transform into any other Pokemon on a whim, but his creepy smile and eyes remain regardless of his transformation. So, Nintendo thought, why not create a plush toy that resembles Ditto pretending to be a Pikachu? Because who doesn't want Ditto's creepy eyes watching children all through the night?

Sure enough, the limited run of these toys caused their prices to skyrocket, and they've become ridiculously hard to find unless you're willing to fork out the big bucks on Ebay. Sure, you can try and find yourself a more recent version of the plush toy to try and avoid that steep price tag, but even the newer ones fetch a higher price than normal plush, thanks to the resurgence in Pokemon popularity. Besides, what fun would it be to know you settled for the less rare toy anyway!? 

Check out the Ebay listing here.

Brand New Pikachu Theme 3DSXL 

Price: $400-500

Did you wait too long to purchase this Pikachu 3DSXL after it was released? Whelp, too bad. Unless you happen to find a used one somewhere at your local game store, this Pokemon themed 3DSXL will cost you between $400 and $500 if you want to pick up a brand spanking new one. And you can't resist that face. The cute, innocent face of that sweet little Pikachu, quietly whispering:

"You know you want to buy me, just click buy now and you and I can be best friends forever." 

Pikachu confirmed to be a brainwashing mascot to get you to buy everything. It's totally not just you being irresponsible or anything...

Check out the Amazon listing here


Brand New Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness Themed Nintendo GameCube

Price: $500

The Nintendo GameCube has its place in gaming history for providing some of the greatest titles to grace the sixth generation of gaming. But why settle for the common purple edition you can pick up anywhere for cheap, when you can shell out ridiculous amounts of cash for this hard to find Pokemon themed edition? The best part is, it'll immediately lose the value you paid once you open the box to try and play the system! 

I would just like to point out that the only real difference in the GameCube of this bundle, compared to a normal GameCube, is the Pokemon logo is pictured where it usually says "Nintendo GameCube." That's it. The color is exactly what you'd get out of a gray GameCube at a flea market, but you just have to be the most die hard Pokemon fan out there -- so we both know you're going to shell out the $500 just to get this one.

But I'm no here toy judge how you spend your money...well, yes I am, but it's not like any of us wouldn't want a Pokemon GameCube if we could get one. Some of us just realize the price is too much for our inner child. But I have faith you'll be the irresponsible buyer. 

Check out the Ebay listing here.

First Edition Shadowless Charizard Pokemon Card

Price: $1,000-3,000

Ah, so you're trying to get all your old Pokemon cards back? Well, good luck with that. The Pokemon Go craze has caused Ebay prices for your beloved childhood memories to skyrocket once more, with certain foil and super rare Pokemon cards fetching hundreds of dollars.

None of that compares to this Charizard Pokemon card, however, which will cost you THOUSANDS. It was one of the most sought after cards when the packs were first rolling off store shelves, so it only makes sense to see that same level of dedication transitioning into people's adulthood. But three grand for a piece of shiny cardboard? I'm sure you as a child could buy that with your weekly allowance...for the next thirty years.

Check out an Ebay listing here.



Custom Nintendo World Championships 2008 DS

Price: $3,000

Not satisfied with getting the most up to date handheld on the market in the 3DS? Why not try and hunt down this Nintendo World Championships 3DS complete with orange coloration and a Pikachu logo instead!

Not only is it incapable of playing 3D games, but it's over eight years old with lower quality hardware! And what turns out to be the greatest thing of all is that it'll only cost you $2500 more than the brand new, more advanced handheld would have! Does that not just scream "shut up and take my money" or what!?

Pokemon Japanese Lottery Eevee Plush Doll (Only 20 exist)

Price: $5,000

It's a giant Eevee plush. You know you want it. Move aside Pikachu, Eevee is the cutest Pokemon of them all (and arguably a more suited Pokemon mascot). But while you can easily find giant Pikachu plush toys to your heart's content, getting a giant Eevee is a lot more difficult. Unless you plan on going down to your local carnival and winning a cheap knock off at ring toss, and one that was likely stitched together by children in a sweat shop, this giant Eevee will cost you five grand.

Sure, tell yourself you're only buying this to save those sweat shop children from suffering, and that it totally has nothing to do with the fact you're just trying to fill that hole if your heart with toys....but hey! Look how fluffy it is!

Check out the Ebay listing here.


Pokemon Japanese 1998 3rd Place Kamex Mega Battle Squirtle Trophy (One of Two)

Price: $10,000

Just to be clear, this is a trophy that says you won THIRD PLACE. Basically, the person who wasn't even special enough to BE THE FIRST ONE TO LOSE. But this extremely rare trophy from a 1998 Pokemon Tournament will require RIDICULOUS funds just for you to say I GOT THE BRONZE!

It makes you question if a bronze Pokemon statue is worth more than winning the Bronze at the Olympics? But at least with buying bronze off Ebay, you don't have to dope up or chug steroids just to try and win it!

Check out the Ebay listing here.

Japanese Pikachu Illustrator Card (Rarest Pokemon Card in Existence) 

Price: $100,000

You read that right. This Japan exclusive Pokemon card is the rarest of the rare. Dedicated collectors have been looking for this one forever. And you can go find it off Ebay right now! Sounds simple, right? Well, sure, if you're willing to pay over $100,000 for it of course.

Who in their right mind would fork out that kind of money for a piece of cardboard they can't even read!? You do realize that in like 100 years somebody is going to see this stored away in your closet somewhere and likely pitch it thinking its worthless? You could buy a home with that kind of money! Or help me pay off my student loans...pretty please?

As of right now, over seventy people are "watching" it, likely waiting for it to take a dip in price before they take the plunge. But exactly how much are they expecting this to go down? If it drops to $99,999.99, will someone try and make a bid on it? I'm sure Bill Gates has some spare change lying around somewhere...

Check out the Ebay listing here.

Have any particular Pokemon purchases you know were a bit irresponsible? Comment below and let us know what some of your most prized Poke-possessions are!

Published Sep. 16th 2016

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