We all love games, but sometimes our video games can also double as other forms of entertainment. I began to wonder, could I come up with some drinking games which are played with video games? Why yes I can! I’m not a big drinker, but I have a drink every now and then. After brainstorming this list though, I think I need to have a party! As always, please game and drink responsibly!
Everyone’s favorite part of a RPG is when in order to make progress on a quest, we must scratch someone else’s back and do them a favor for some contrived reason. You may be a Grey Warden, a Spectre, a Witcher, or some other powerful character; it does not matter though. At the end of the day, even the most powerful of RPG characters must bow before the power of the errand quest.
Any RPG will do. Simply play until you encounter a quest where you must perform an errand for some NPC in order to progress. You must drink upon encountering and accepting the quest and upon completion, this way of playing helps dull the sharp edge of frustration.
There are several shots which could make for an excellent companion to this one. The B-52, Breakfast, and Chocolate Cake shots would be my go-to picks. If you want to play with the grownups though, you could instead use a Three Wise Men or Four Horsemen shots to ensure quick inebriated questing!
Any chance to write about Bulletstorm is a win in my book. In fact, I just wrote about how awesome it is, and why you should play it! As I mentioned in my piece, the game contains a lot of swear words. A LOT. Enough to make sailors blush and Samuel L. Jackson feel uncomfortable. So how does this translate to a drinking game? Actually, it is quite easy.
The rules are really simple. Whenever you hear the “f” word or a variation of uttered by our potty mouth characters, you drink. This includes all characters though, not just our main character. So whenever that enemy curses you and you reply with an equally appalling swear, two drinks to you my friend!
Since swearing is not always a good thing, an ideal drink would be something bitter and not very enjoyable by itself. Tequila neat would probably be the best option, unless you like that nasty stuff, in which case a substitute would need to be found. Before you know it, you’ll have been broken of your own swearing habits!
I Wanna Be the Guy is legendary for its unrelenting difficulty that will have even the most veteran players curled into the fetal position and sobbing after a short play session. This is a game that has no rules and constantly breaks the rules of all games you have played. You can die on the bloody map screen for goodness sake!
This is as simple as it gets: you die; you drink. Yep, that’s it. Once you explode in a cloud of pixelated blood and gore, bottoms up! If you can last more than ten minutes at this one, I salute you!
Since you will be dying and drinking a lot, you want something deceptively smooth and enjoyable to help calm your nerves after each death. The chocolate milk taste of a Nut’s ‘n’ Berries or the smoothness of a Buttery Nipple. Either way, you’ll at least enjoy the dying, until the next day anyway.
Ah Rock Band. It remains one of the greatest party games ever made. So why not use it as a way to show your friends how awesome you are at it?
This can be played with as many people as you wish and have the instruments for, or you can rotate. First, the roles of guitarist, drummer, etc. are placed in a hat, and everyone draws a role. Starting with a song of “Easy” difficulty decided by the host, play the song. The person with the highest points decides what the losers drink. The winner of the round also delegates roles for the next song, decides the next song, and the difficulty. Keep playing until you can’t!
You can also play this with only two people, if you just want to get that one friend inebriated. Rock and roll all nite!
We have all been playing a multiplayer game of sorts and then it happens: the toxic player show up. If they aren’t criticizing you for every move you make, they are hurling racist, sexist, and bigoted insults at you and others for no discernible reason except to make everyone as miserable as they are. So why not try to make it slightly enjoyable?
I named CoD as the go-to game because of its popularity and notorious community. However, you can play any multiplayer game of your choice. Play as you normally would, or play nice if you are a toxic person. When the toxic players show up and start doing their thing, you drink every time they say something nasty. They called your mother something I can’t repeat here? Drink. Hurled a racist insult at someone on a team? Drink. Criticizing your play style despite your score being higher than theirs? Drink. Soon you’ll be happy to hear them open their mouths and spew their spiel.
Since you’ll be drinking fast and often, you’ll want your favorite bottled beverage for this one. Personally, I would take a Dos Equis Lager, a Smirnoff of some sort, or a chilled cider. The choice is yours to make! If you want to play nasty, you and your friends can alternate deciding the drinks before rounds. This way you can finally get your friends to drink that disgusting oatmeal stout you love. You monster.
I love Bayonetta. I absolutely love the ridiculous over-the-top nature of the combat and enemy design as well as the nonsensical story. One of the main mechanics is the use of Bayonetta’s hair. She uses her hair to empower her attacks, so powerful attacks leave her with less clothing. Did I mention her clothing is her hair? It’s a bizarre title to be sure.
Another simple one here, whenever Bayonetta’s clothing becomes slightly revealing, you drink. Needless to say, you’ll be surprised how many drinks you’ll have downed within the hour.
Again, you’ll want a bottled beverage for this one. If you desire, you can hand off the controller between combat pieces and stages so you can spectate and drink, because spectators must play the game too!
Besides creating huge sandbox worlds for players to explore, Bethesda is known for their bugs. Holy crap the bugs are strong with these games. I understand it’s impossible to eliminate every bug in a huge game world, but it seems reasonable to expect less bugs in their games than Starship Troopers.
Before you start, you and each of your friends choose a drink. The first person to spot a bug has the other participants take the drink they chose. After each drink, new drinks are chosen and the controller is handed off to another player. Before you know it, you’ll be more interested in finding bugs than treasure.
At this point, Ubisoft games have become so predictable; they can be predicted far in advance of release. A key mechanic of each Ubi game revolves around capturing a watchtower of some sort. This mechanic started in Assassin’s Creed, and has been present in nearly Ubisoft game since. So let’s take advantage of it!
Boot up the Ubisoft game of your choice. Whenever you capture a watchtower, radio tower, or whatever the hell it’s called now, drink! It doesn’t get much easier than this!
Instead of a bottled drink, mixed drinks would be better for this game. Bloody Marys and Painkillers would be an ideal choice, since this event happens often, but not enough to justify a bottled brew.
Who doesn’t enjoy Nazi killing? The Nazis have been around since the birth of gaming, but The New Order actually gave us personal reasons to perpetrate violent acts against the Nazi regime. You could play any WW 2 shooter, but why not play the great The New Order?
A Nazi dies; you drink! Whether the Nazi dies in a cutscene, by your hands or someone else’s, it matters not. All that matters is whenever Nazi blood is shed, bottoms up!
Why a Dead Nazi of course! Is there a more fitting drink for this? I think not.
Older adventure games are infamous for their obtuse puzzles and hard-to-find key items resulting in extreme pixel hunting. Now that we are adults, let’s replay the most frustrating parts of our childhood like an adult can!
Choose an older adventure of your choice (GOG.com has a plethora of great titles) and play. Whenever you encounter some cryptic hints, obtuse instructions, or illogical puzzle, bottoms up! For every five minutes you cannot progress, have another drink!
The peppermint of a Starry Night shot will open your sinuses and maybe help induce an epiphany. I doubt it though. But hey, at least you will be having fun being stuck right?
There you have it, a new excuse to invite your friends over and play some games (as if you needed another one). Have suggestions for drinks or games to play these with? Sound off in the comments!
Stay thirsty my friends!