Girlfriend  Tagged Articles RSS Feed | Girlfriend  RSS Feed on en Launch Media Network How to tell your Girlfriend and friends what Raiding is Wed, 29 Jun 2016 06:32:55 -0400 Chrisator

As anyone who’s ever played an MMORPG knows, it's hard to explain exactly what you’re doing for those 3-4 hours a day you spend locked on to your screen, headset on your head, smashing those keys and yelling at your screen. Saying the word "raiding" just doesn't suffice. But that’s what we’re here for! To set the record straight. So just pass this article to your special someone, friends, or even your parents, and let us take care of the rest.

Now, this’ll certainly have to be more than just a simple introduction to raiding. You don’t just want to know why your dorky friend/partner/child (let’s just call him Dan from now on, shall we?) spends all that time playing an MMORPG, but you'll also need to know what sets a game like World of Warcraft, Elder Scrolls Online, or Guild Wars 2 apart from all other video games.

Teamwork: It's not a sport, but it is an eSport


Something that any first year psychology student will learn is that people function better in a group. But, with the fast-paced world that most of us live in, this basic tribal need can't be achieved in the old-fashioned way. And therein lies the biggest appeal in raiding. You get together in a group, get assigned varying roles and responsibilities, and are expected to perform them well -- or you let the entire team down.

The carrot and the stick: Loot vs. wipes

Now while the inherent point of raiding might lie in social and tribal needs, the carrot and stick formula of punishment and reward is what keeps people going. You get together in a group, do the thing, and when the thing is done (i.e. the 'boss' is dead) you get a shiny new piece of loot, which you can then wear on your in game avatar.

The point of this piece of loot? It makes you stronger, so that you can kill bigger, badder bosses. Those bigger, badder bosses in turn give you better loot, which you then use to kill the biggest baddest boss of the raid.

You might be wondering where the stick lies in this function. Well, the stick is the countless excruciating hours you have to spend 'wiping' -- basically dying as a group -- before you perfect the mechanics that require you to kill the boss.

Competition - Another itch that raids scratch

Now if you're a smart cookie (and let's face it, you're reading this super complex guide, so you must be!) you'll be thinking to yourself "so what happens after you kill the biggest baddest monsters in all of the land?"

Astute deduction skills, dear reader. The answer to that is, of course, competition. As you can see in the image below, there is a whole website dedicated to ranking the top guilds (basically groups of people who raid together on a weekly basis) based on who kills the biggest baddest boss in each raid first. Earning these rankings is competitive on both a global level, as well as a local level, based on the server (or realm) each guild is placed on.

On top of the rankings, guilds sometimes finish content within hours of each other, making the competition for world first very tough.

New content -- the new shot of heroin that 'Dan' needs

To keep raiders coming back for more, especially the greedy and competitve bunch who kill the biggest baddest bosses as soon as nerdly humanly possible, they come up with new 'patches' of content which basically introduce a whole new set of bosses, who drop a whole new set of shiny loot, which you'd need to kill for a whole new set of epeen (ask Dan what that means).

And that is also why our lovely Dan might have to spend a little more time raiding when a new patch comes out, so that he can grow his epeen even further.

On a more serious note, what's the point to all this

Now you might be thinking to yourself, this does seem just like an another game, albeit at a much more complex level. And essentially, you'd be right. But raiding and the systems that surround it are so much more than that.

First and foremost, they give a sense of camaraderie and belonging that some people don't find outside sports and the Armed Forces. Secondly, they teach a whole lot of useful life lessons. I'm not kidding here -- reaction time, strategizing, min/maxing (maximizing performance and minimizing unnecessary hindrances), social skills, teamwork, time management, responsibility, and a whole lot more.

In fact, getting into most of the semi-hardcore guilds requires some form of application process which directly reflects a CV, where a raider needs to cite their previous experience, their intentions, their desires in the games, and often go through a great deal of scrutiny before being accepted. If that isn't a great entry test for the job market, I don't know what is.

Some cautionary tales

Raiding isn't all rainbows and butterflies either though. So if you notice Dan seems to get angrier rather than happier after a raid, he might be experiencing what can only be described as a shitty raidleader. I'll leave the explanation to the video below:

Concluding remarks

So, now that you realize what exactly it is that motivates Dan to spend all those countless hours in a week glued to his computer screen, maybe you'll stay away just a little bit and not ask him for extra affection during raid hours. In fact, since most guilds have a set time and weekly schedule for raids, you could probably find out when Dan raids, and spend that time doing something fun for yourself...Like, I dunno, playing some video games?

If you liked this little guide do share and like it, and let us know if you have any other reasons for raiding, or funny experiences of telling your friends what raiding is, in the comments section below.

This guy proposed to his girlfriend in Super Mario Maker (and you can too!) Wed, 01 Jun 2016 12:09:20 -0400 JessDambach

Someone used Super Mario Maker to propose to his girlfriend, and he caught it on video. Genius, I know. (These are just the perks of living in one of the best and techiest generations in history.) It might be a little out of the ordinary to most people, but that doesn't mean it's any less beautiful than the traditional proposals we see plastered everywhere.

Are you not tired of the typical perfect proposal that has been happening for thousands of years? You see them all over social media day in and day out. But after a while, they all kind of look the same. We are a lot more creative than we think we are, and we really need to tap into that. Like this guy did.

It is a common sentiment that technology is separating people and making them less social and less human. I disagree. We have an opportunity to use technology to make life more fun and creative -- to make us more human! Shane Birkinbine's proposal using Super Mario Maker isn't an instance of technology controlling his life, but a moment in which he uses it to expand his human experience and do something different. (Pam are a lucky woman.)

If you would like to propose to your significant other in the same way that Birkinbine did, you can do so by using the following code in the game: 7A61-0000-0245-8DE8.

Here's hoping this is just one of many cool, techy proposals we'll see in the future. Personally, I can not wait until the first person uses a hologram to propose to their significant other. 

Top 5 Greatest Girlfriends Tue, 14 Jul 2015 18:55:31 -0400 Matt Amenda


1. Marle

Chrono Trigger

Boy, Chrono Trigger has a lot of things that could make #1 on a list, doesn't it? Well, here's another one: Marle, the marksman, cleric, ice mage, exiled princess, and greatest girlfriend in the video game universe. 


First of all, how cool is it that they made the healing party member have some sass in this game? In other games they always make the cleric be some gentle girly-girl, but not Marle: Marle is the rudest, boldest, and most vicious of the whole Chrono Crew. She'll back-talk dinosaur kings and shoot cosmic horrors in the face with nothing but her trusty crossbow. Or by dropping an ice mountain on it.


But that's not the reason she's the best girlfriend: the reason Marle Guardia is the best girlfriend of all time is that she climbed an Eldritch-spawn-infested demon-mountain from the future so she could bring her man back from the dead.


This game had the balls to actually kill off Crono, the main protagonist. Marle had the bigger balls to defy time itself to bring him back. It's a long quest line, and that mountain is hard as shit. But she was not only willing but driven to fight her past hordes of bosses, up a frozen post-nuclear mountain, and snatch her love from the jaws of the devourer of worlds. And afterwords, help you kill that ugly bastard. That is some love, dedication, and outright badassery. If I had a girlfriend and got blasted to atoms by giant deer-tick Cthulhu, my ass would stay dead. Because that girlfriend would not be Marle.

Honorable Mentions

Elena and Cloe, from the Uncharted series


Skylar Sinclair, from The Saboteur


Berri, from Conker's Bad Fur Day


Silvia, from the Viewtiful Joe series


Lucy and Nix, from Infamous 2




Anybody else? Who else is an awesome video game girlfriend?


2. Paula


You think Ness is the protagonist of Earthbound? And this cute little girl is his faithful JRPG healing sidekick? Ha! Brother, you've got it exactly backwards.  Ness is only there to keep her healed so she can annihilate her enemies with lightning and hellfire. Her's is the true face of the destroyer. She is Armageddon with a pretty pink bow. She makes the supposed boy protagonist look like a chump. Paula is awesome.


She's insanely brave too. She isn't just haplessly thrown into the adventure: she just realizes that saving the world is part of her destiny and goes with it. She doesn't even hesitate. She just says "Ness, let's go. We have a planet to save and I know just the crew for the job."


Think about that. Even if I had demigod-like powers at my disposal like Paula has, I would at least think twice about going on a giant globe-trotting quest like this. I would be pretty scared, even now as a grown-ass man. But never once does she lose her cool. How does she fit those balls under that dress?


 And on top of all of that, she knowingly volunteers to help Ness fight this.


3. Anya Oliwa

Wolfenstein: The New Order

Finally, BJ Blaskowitz meets a girl who's crazy about killing Nazis as he is.


In the main game she's already pretty great: she helps out with missions, intercepts messages, and makes loud, passionate love to our hero to the embarrassment of her friends. All admirable qualities as a supporting character.


But then we hear her collectible diaries, and we learn that before the events of the game she waged a one-woman war on the Nazis that makes Inglorious Basterds look tame. Entry after entry about cartoonishly violent Nazi murder, from running them over with her car to feeding them cyanide sausages. She is a walking Tarantino movie. Listen to them here: you will either be disturbed or, if you're like BJ, extremely aroused. They're perfect for each other.


4. Ophelia

Brutal Legend

As Eddie Riggs would say: "God, she's awesome."


As with everything in the Brutal Land, Ophelia is the heavy metal girlfriend amplified. She isn't just a chick with black fingernails and weird jewelry; she's a chick with black fingernails and weird jewelry that slays demons, rescues damsels, talks like a Viking, and tears the bones from wild motorcycle-pigs with her bare hands. And then uses those bones to make cannons for her battle-sisters. That's brutal. Just one more reason I totally want to live in Brutal Legend.


5. Juliet Starling

Lollipop Chainsaw

When Juliet finds Nick, her boyfriend, in this game, the first thing she does is chainsaw his head off and wear it on her belt like a Tamagatchi. She's a great girlfriend.


But yes, that boyfriend is still alive as a head and she's trying to find a way to bring back the rest of him with magic or something. I don't know, the game was too crappy to finish. But hey, that means that the girlfriend gets to be the protagonist for once! Now the girl is the one slaying zombie hordes by the bushel while the guy is a literal helpless hanger-on. He's pretty depressed and weirded-out at the whole experience, but he should be more grateful: she managed to save 1/7th of him, after all.


When we're talking about video games and their significant others, I really do mean significant: there is no overestimating the importance of a good love interest. Especially when these lovely ladies make their big, strong boyfriends look like wusses in comparison.


These are the Top 5 girlfriends who support, love, and destroy the weak alongside their guyfriends. And, often at the same time, make them their bitches.

Girlfriend Gives Away Entire DotA 2 Inventory After Boyfriend Doesn't Give Her Enough Attention Mon, 14 Jul 2014 12:23:15 -0400 Danielle Marie

While some relationships are built off proper communication, trust, loyalty, and other beneficial virtues, a particular Reddit thread concluded that others would rather hatch a spiteful scheme of revenge when relations start to go sour. 

A thread started by Reddit user Zerei explains that one DotA player's significant other was so distressed by his lack of attention that she decided to give away his entire DotA 2 inventory while he was away at work. 

How Did She Do It?

His girlfriend created an event on popular social media site, Facebook, to legitimize her generous dispensing of her significant other's belongings. 

According to Zerei, this unfortunate competitor had over 500 items in his inventory (valued at over $100+), while a later picture posted by a participant in the inventory purge showed that his inventory had been depleted to a mere 29 items:

How Did He Take It?

While the Facebook group may have been deleted, the boyfriend in question has not allowed the malicious incident to damper his spirits.

According to the author of the post, his nickname has been changed to "never playing DotA again," after recently receiving a Staff of the Fungal Lord, one of seven items required to complete the Fungal Lord item set. 

Unfortunately, the Facebook page was in Portuguese before it was removed, which prevented any way for Reddit users to find a resolution or reaction. 

Was It Justified?

As heinous as it may seem, one comment stated that her boyfriend had been cheating on her as well as her original statement about lack of attention.

Do you think that infidelity is reason enough to lash out in such a way? Is there any justification for reacting the way this girl did, or do you believe that two wrongs will never make a right?

Leave your answers in the comments section below!