But Does It Include The CoD Dog? — Examining Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare’s Trailer Part 2

Elijah continues his incredulously peculiar examination of Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare's announcement trailer.

This goatee can kill a man just by looking at him. It is truly that hideous.

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Don't mind us, we're just on our way to Halo 3: ODST!


"And that's why we don't let Dave cook!"


Kevin Spacey is unimpressed with your holographic city. It lacks hotdog stands. FOR SHAME!


Rise and shine maggots! We're making another Call of Duty! You will scream things in foreign accents, die with silly ragdoll physics, and you will like it!


Hey, I know you. Weren't you in Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes?


You will nod appropriately, because Kevin Spacey is speaking!


Actual Kevin Spacey exclusive to next-gen. Last-gen Kevin Spacey will be played by a Muppet with a rubber mask.


"Where we're going, we don't need roads!"


"It's a Transformer!"


In the future, wall-glitching is used to open locked doors.


"Oh, man this is embarrassing. Yeah, we're supposed to be recording the zipline scene from Call of Duty: Ghosts today. You guys mind coming back in like, an hour?"


Welcome to the Grid.


Battleship 2. The war for naval supremacy goes on land... but we included the grid layout this time!


Texture glitching perk only available in the Hardened Edition.


"Noob! Grenades are so OP!"


LSD Trip perk exclusive to Illegal Edition.


Wall hack perk will be a day one DLC exclusive for Xbox One. Become the ultimate haxzor!


"WHERE IS THE CALL OF DUTY DOG?"


"I REGRET THIS DECISION!"


The power of ragdoll physics compels you!

Miss Part 1? No worries, here's a link!


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Author
Elijah Beahm
Grumpily ranting at this computer screen since before you were playing Minecraft. For more of my work: https://elijahbeahm.contently.com/