Apparently, all it takes to be Super Saiyan these days is voluminous, voluptuous, and bodacious yellow hair that is sculpted to such fine points, they could poke someone's eye out.
Apparently, that's all it takes to be considered a Dragon Ball game, too.
Google's Play Store has a plethora of games for Android users construed as being a part of Bandai Namco's popular Dragon Ball franchise, but few were actually developed by Bandai.
As for the rest?
For those unsure about traversing the Play Store themselves in search for the best of the worst, fear not: this article covers seven of the more humorous knock-offs in the Dragon Ball knock-off verse.
Dragon Legends: for when one fandom just isn't enough.
I went out looking for a Dragon Ball knock-off and found with Bruce Lee and some Street Fighter in it too.
In this free superhero fighting game, follow the path of Kaku -- who is less Goku and more Super Saiyan Chucky -- as he cleans the streets of "gangsters" (the developers word; not mine).
Unleash fists of fury as you rampage across various maps, uncovering plot points and defeating, killing, and butchering gangsters along the way.
Really, the developers want to be completely clear that there will be "a cruel showdown full of blood and violence."
Ah, yes. The classic DBZ experience I remember: blood and gangsters.
I'm not sure what's more intimidating: the amount of lines needed to be drawn to depict the characters' muscles or the stare down happening between two people who could essentially be the same person (wow, there's the DBZ similarities).
At its base, Power Level Warrior is another free combat game where players face opponents in an arena setting, collecting balls and crystals and leveling up in order to be the best dragon warrior in the land.
At its worst, Power Level Warrior hasn't got much else to its name. I don't even know if the main character has a name, as the opponents barely do.
As the superstition goes, names have power. Perhaps this game's lack of names is telling in its own way...
Nothing is more terrifying than a negative image of a cartoon character (a universal truth I discovered the first time I saw a negative image of a cartoon character).
In Warriors Battle Z: Super Hero Legend, players experience fast-paced battles (that's funny, considering this is a Dragon Ball game) as Goku, defeating opponents in a "fantasy world dimension."
Unfortunately, every opponent is a robot, and players can only play as Goku -- if you want to play as other beloved franchise characters, you've got to download the developer's other games. At least they're free.
Honestly, though, the best part of this game is the description: "Be a Man with balls and unleash the full power of the mighty warrior race..."
Dragon balls, right? (ha ha...)
They say if your hand is bigger than your face, you're bad at video games.
What about when everything is bigger than your face?
(Goku, where is your face?)
Dragon Heroes: Tap Survival, a free-to-play game where players tap away at monsters before they can reach their character, is another DBZ knock-off that somehow managed to get away with using the same names and character designs (what is copyright law, anyways?).
(Well, I mean, the designs are close enough)
At least the other games gave players the dignity of a battle when they played a Dragon Ball title. I guess when the developers say, "This game can be insanely addictive for all fans of the anime!" they mean that in the sense that you'll be doing a whole lot of watching, and not a lot of playing.
Just because a game is a knock-off doesn't mean it's inherently bad. And if Creepy Ball Super didn't crash as much as it reportedly does, it could be a real winner.
With its tongue in cheek description, "An animation worthy of the best current animes," Creepy Ball Super adds itself to the ranks of free, similar-to-DBZ fighting games where players select a character and battle against an opponent, using super moves and doing some sick flips in the process.
Pick your poison in the form of beloved characters Geku, Vegetal, or, my personal favorite, Beeeeeeh, and meet me in the pit.
Generally, I think it's a bad idea to make someone's eyes look bloodshot unless they're possessed by the devil or smoking something they shouldn't be. It has a disconcerting effect that could cause people to avoid a game rather than play it.
But that could just be a personal problem, as Battle Z: Super Saiyan has over 12,000 ratings despite the red eyes and the not-quite-blonde saiyan hair (like, it's seriously creeping me out).
For those who aren't afraid, Battle Z: Super Saiyan is a fast-paced combat game similar to all the rest, except this one has quite a few different game modes: story, survival, legend, and team.
Could be fun, could be hilarious, could be a little bit terrifying. Just don't stare into his eyes for too long.
Just what I always wanted to see: Goku associated with the word "devil." As if that would ever occur naturally in the Dragon Ball universe, anime or otherwise.
Nevertheless, there exists a devil-like Goku in Super Battle for Goku Devil, where players are placed in another arena-based combat system, fighting bosses and completing stages with various characters with a "God vs Devil" backdrop.
The developers boast the impressive feature of over "50 super saiyan forms." I can't even begin to comprehend what that even means.
Maybe it's been too long since I've watched the anime...
So I guess I was wrong. Apparently, there's more to being Super Saiyan than just blond hair, an exorbitant amount of muscles, and a lot of yelling.
Apparently, it takes a lot of fighting, a lot of enemies, a lot of tapping -- and a whole lot of balls.