“So, Erin, you said in your last post that you could find me a husband. How do we get started?”
I’m glad you asked!
But first of all, I’m not going to find you a husband. You’re going to find yourself one.
“Potayto, Potahto. Fine. How do I find a husband?”
I’m glad you asked!
Finding a husband is easier than you think. To get started, become a gamer. Fortunately, that’s easy to do. Buy an on-line game and start killing stuff!
Yes, killing stuff. Just go with it. It’s OK to kill these things. To paraphrase Arnold Schwarzenegger, ‘They’re all bad.’
“OK, but where do I find online games?”
We’re starting at square one, I see. No problem! Go to Best Buy or Game Stop or any store that sells computer games. Ask a salesperson to tell you which games are “MMORPGS.” (Don’t embarrass yourself: that’s pronounced “Em Em Oh Are Pee Geez.”)
You want an MMORPG (“singular: Em Em Oh Are Pee Gee”) because those are the games with other real people. I’m assuming you’d like to marry a real person.
Also, don’t choose a game for kids. Star Wars is OK. Clone Wars is out. Cute animals with anime eyes on the cover? Out. Be serious. You’re trying to find a man here.
On the flip side: first-person shooter games. It’s probably best to stay away from those too. It’s not an entirely male audience, but it’s close.
“But isn’t that just where to find a husband? Where all the men are?”
No. These are just guys running around shooting each other. You don’t want to meet a guy while he’s running around trying to kill other guys. It’s not conducive to relationship building.
You want an MMORPG that doesn’t look too childish or too cute or too testosterone-laden either. You want something in the middle. Something with quests and party-style play and an active social element.
If the sales guy is cute, ask him which one he plays.
Really, anything with a guild-based system will work. (What are guilds? I’ll get to that in another post. For now, think of guilds as social networking tools for gamers.)
“Cut to the chase, Erin,” I hear you saying. “You said in your last post that someone in your guild got married. So what game do you play?”
I play World of Warcraft. You’ll love it. It has pets. And dragons you can fly around on. And now it even has pandas. Who doesn’t love pandas?
“So I can join your guild and you’ll find me a husband?”
Dear lord, no. I have enough trouble as a guild master. I am not going to be your online matchmaker. One last tip though, when choosing horde or alliance, I should mention that the main alliance city has a cathedral. The main horde city does not.
I’m just saying.
Image courtesy of [Rosen Georgiev] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net