Hey man, don't hate on a guy's hair just because it's fabulous.
You've got to respect a man who can maintain a standard of hair care that exquisite in a video game world. When you're fighting slimes, surfing through sewers, or somersaulting across Hyrule all day, it's hard to avoid getting a few split ends. This list is in honor of the happy few fellas who dare to look beautiful and kick ass at the same time. Because you're worth it.
Street Fighter series
There are some legendary characters that are instantly identifiable even through their silhouettes. One is Batman's cowl. Another is Sonic the Hedgehog's quills. And still another is Guile's towering, majestic crew cut.
As one of our finest Americans, Guile knows that a war where you can't look good is a war not worth fighting. But Americans can't not fight wars; that's blasphemy! So Guile always looks good.
Lord knows it ain't easy: he's got an army of challengers to kick in the tonsils, and that'll give anybody flyaways. But curb-stomping fascists and destroying the ozone with hairspray is what Americans do best, and Guile is the real American hero.
4. Grayson Hunt
Gray has the exterior of a violent, drunken scoundrel, with the heart of an even more violent, drunken scoundrel. He's got about as much respect for the finer things in life as he does for unexploded human testicles. But his hair is perfect.
The guy is a potty-mouthed, murderous psycho who spends all day shooting the balls off of other murderous psychos, and somehow finds the time and patience to care for that luscious mane of his. How does he do it? Why does he do it? Heck if I know.
All I know is that the guy's whole life makes me jealous. He's a space marine and a space pirate. He has a cyborg sidekick. He gets to lay waste to a hell-planet full of mutant freaks and get paid for it. And to literally top it all off, he's got flawless Wolverine hair.
Even through pixels, his hair is majestic. For those of you with no imagination, I added the official art on the right.
That is a haircut fit for fearsome wizard-king of Dalton's caliber. It just goes with him. You see that cape? The cape is pretty cool by itself. You see that cascading waterfall of kingly locks across his mighty shoulders? That's awesome too. But there is something about the combination of flowing cape and hair that is just not to be f*cked with. Then you add the eyepatch and, well, it's time to go home. Just go home. You're not topping that.
Well, maybe except for...
2. Lars Halford
Why hello there, heavy metal Jesus. You're looking godly this morning.
That PC master-race-looking marvel up there is known only as Lars, King of All Mankind. Because of course he is. I'm convinced. Aren't you? Are you seeing this man? Are you partaking in the feast of the eyes that is gazing awestruck at Lars' divine, angelic tresses, as I am? Who could look upon those golden curtains of majesty and NOT declare him king?
He spends the game fighting against the armies of General Lionwhyte, whose ridiculous super-powered hair graces the title image of this list. It is a just war: when it comes regal heavy-metal hair, there can be no pretenders. Follow his hair to glorious victory!
1. King Caineghis
Fire Emblem series
You stick this man's hair and beard on a face--any face--and it is instantly king. Doesn't matter what kind of king. King of anything. Maybe king of everything. All I know is, no matter what your race, creed, or power level, you would do well to kneel before King Caineghis.
In his kingdom, the land is populated by people who can transform into giant saber-toothed weretigers, and they pick whoever's mightiest to be king. I like to imagine that when ol' Caineghis walked in all casual and declared himself king, they judged him worthy just because he looked so much like a damn lion. Who would argue with hair that awesome? That word is a tad overused, but I mean it this time: his hair fills me with awe.
Screw that talking boat guy: this is the REAL King of Red Lions.
Hugo, from Final Fight and Street Fighter series
Raiden, Metal Gear series
Darunia, The Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time
Augus, Asura's Wrath
Bruce Wayne, Batman: Arkham City
Eddie Riggs, Brutal Legend