Another Dungeons and Dragons Movie–Hasbro Says No

Hasbro doesn’t want another Dungeons and Dragons movie, and I don’t either. While they’re asserting that Courtney Solomon and Sweet Pea Entertainment do not have the rights to make a sequel to the first from 2000, I say they need to back off for other reasons.

Why Courtney Solomon at Warner Bros. wants to make another Dungeons and Dragons movie can only be because the first one was so horrible she wants another go at it. Hasbro is “filing copyright and trademark infringement complaint[s]” in order to prevent the new project.

Why it doesn’t work

Solomon isn’t the only one who made D&D movies, but they were made-for-TV and clearly not the best quality if they’re showing up on Syfy, next to the likes of Shark Attack 3: Megalodon or Python vs. Chimaera. The fact is: Dungeons and Dragons does not make a good movie franchise (unless you’ve got Peter Jackson heading the project, then maybe it stands a chance, but that’ll never happen).

Dungeons and Dragons as a game is great; it’s nerdy and imaginative, belonging on tabletops and books. Because it’s so open-ended and expansive, it’s difficult to consolidate all that should go into a movie. The same goes for World of Warcraft. It’s so very broad, you can’t include all the vital things that make the game work and translate those into a movie. People will never be satisfied with what you choose, and if you choose wrong, like Solomon did the first time, people—and Hasbro—expect a disaster.

When I saw Dungeons and Dragons, I went in thinking it might be good because I was a naïve young’un, but it just fell way short. I mean, I adore Jeremy Irons, and for some reason he has an affinity for picking roles in dragon movies (D&D, Eragon, probably more dragon B movies…), but man. Not a good choice for such a great actor. Then the guy with the lipstick. Never a good choice for a bad guy; it undermines your evilness when your lips are mint green and doesn’t match your complexion. The overall acting quality wasn’t mind-blowing to say the least and the story was lame, cliché, and dull.

My suggestion to Solomon is to come up with your own story, drawing inspiration from Dungeons and Dragons without outright ripping from it. Show a little originality and stop leeching on your flop from 13 years ago.