Death Star Plans Detected in the Kickstarter System

After refusal from the US Government, Death Star plans surface on Kickstarter.

After refusal from the US Government, Death Star plans surface on Kickstarter.
Recommended Videos

After the US government turned down a 34,435 signature petition to build a fully operational Death Star on the grounds that Obama’s Administration “does not support the blowing up of planets” on a project that would cost an estimated $850,000,000,000,000,000 and had a “fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship”, enterprising proto-Galactic Imperialists are trying a different tack…

They’ve turned to Kickstarter

A modest initial goal of $31.3m will facilitate a more detailed design schematic than the current one (see right) and “enough chicken wire to protect reactor exhaust ports”.

In order to make the project more affordable, the designers have plans to use “open source hardware and software” and any pledges of $15 or more will see the backer’s names “etched onto the underside of one of the MSE-6-series repair droids used on the finished station.”

The main reason for continuing the pursuit of this project is apparently due to the sabre-rattling invective from Imperial representatives on Coruscant in response to the Obama Administration’s decision.

It is noteworthy that all project funding has been calculated in British pounds and the originator of the project is based in Leicestershire in the UK. This is unsurprising as it is common knowledge that the majority of villains speak with an English accent and Leicestershire is well known for its affinity with the Sith and cheese.

About the author

Mat Westhorpe

Broken paramedic and coffee-drinking Englishman whose favourite dumb animal is an oxymoron. After over a decade of humping and dumping the fat and the dead, my lower spine did things normally reserved for Rubik's cubes, bringing my career as a medical clinician to an unexpectedly early end. Fortunately, my real passion is in writing and given that I'm now highly qualified in the art of sitting down, I have the time to pursue it. Having blogged about video games (well, mostly EVE Online) for years, I hope to channel my enjoyment of wordcraft and my hobby of gaming into one handy new career that doesn't involve other people's vomit.