The Secret World Issue #5 Updates

An overview of The Secret World's most recent updates since Issue #5 The Vanishing of Tyler Freeborn. Now including added silliness with every bullet point.

An overview of The Secret World's most recent updates since Issue #5 The Vanishing of Tyler Freeborn. Now including added silliness with every bullet point.

Having survived the Mayan apocalypse, the developers of The Secret World have returned to cultivating their occult MMO. Funcom have diligently delivered two updates since the December release of their most recent downloadable content pack, Issue #5: The Vanishing of Tyler Freeborn.

Following the introduction of the new missions and changes in Issue #5 came the inevitable wave of tweaks and fixes to content new and old. Here’s a rundown (with pointless commentary in parentheses).


  • The Dynamite from the mission ‘Nobel Calling’ can no longer be used outside of the intended mission area. (First Bioware segregates gay PCs, now an enforced online explosive ghetto? Oh internet, Y U so mean?)
  • The charge ability of the Ak’ab Hatchling Pet no longer puts friendly NPCs in combat. (“Follow me guys, I’m right behind you.”)


  • The Research of Tyler Freeborn – Tier 3: The Guardian assault should no longer keep going past 2 minutes. (Because Guardians eat too many pies and have no stamina.)
  • The Research of Tyler Freeborn: Players on mission “Survive the battle” should have the assault start for them when they run to the holding cell while there are no Orochi guards around. (Winner of the 2012 ‘stating the bloody obvious’ mission title.)
  • The Anubis Mask now has a red glowing eye effect. (Because the camp wink effect just wasn’t cutting it.)
  • Female Dawnbringer Garb should no longer have clipping issues with hood and most hairstyles. (No clipping now means female Dawnbringers are considered hairy and dishevelled with poor personal hygiene.)
  • The cooldown on the Time Accelerator item has been fixed. (This is a quantum paradox that may end the universe.)
  • The Dust crafting material should work correctly again. (Because the world will always need dust.)
  • Two exploits have been fixed. (Oh go on, tell us what they were. Please.)
  • If you lose a resurrection point that you are signed up to respawn at, you will now resurrect at the closest resurrection point instead of having to wait for the next respawn wave. (This is an excerpt from the rules of the fun new party game ‘Dead by Dawn’.)

Although these maintenance updates will obviously continue, the new payment model means any future additional content for The Secret World will require further transactions. The next planned DLC, the as yet unnamed Issue #6, will be set in Egypt and will featuring Indiana Jones inspired gameplay.



About the author

Mat Westhorpe

Broken paramedic and coffee-drinking Englishman whose favourite dumb animal is an oxymoron. After over a decade of humping and dumping the fat and the dead, my lower spine did things normally reserved for Rubik's cubes, bringing my career as a medical clinician to an unexpectedly early end. Fortunately, my real passion is in writing and given that I'm now highly qualified in the art of sitting down, I have the time to pursue it. Having blogged about video games (well, mostly EVE Online) for years, I hope to channel my enjoyment of wordcraft and my hobby of gaming into one handy new career that doesn't involve other people's vomit.