I will not finish Fallout 4. There is a simple reason for this: friendship. As my level 20 character wanders through the wasteland, he only takes on side quests. He will not push further into the main story. I won’t let him.
After turning my PlayStation off, laying in bed wondering if I made the right choice. My brain is wrecking itself over character arcs in this world. How am I this emotionally attached to Fallout? The next day I pick up the controller and head once more into the world, collecting junk for upgrading my weapon, changing out my follower to Piper.
After exploiting the infinite bartering system in Diamond City to get enough money to buy the house located there. My character talks to some random NPCs, tries to explore all of the city, and finally runs the bases. I don’t want to face the endgame.
Every side quest stalls the inevitable.
Fallout 4 is a fantastic game, that some publications gave it their prized Game of the Year for 2015. Bethesda Software released their fourth title in the Fallout series, in a world set 200 hundred years in the future, where you emerge from a vault to a world that has fallen to atomic war. You encounter Super Mutants, terrible Deathclaws, and two-headed cows. It’s a crazy world to live in but a wonderfully made game but there is no doubt about that but I won’t finish this game.
Bethesda built a truly beautiful game, that it has affected me on an emotional level. No other game has affected me this way. My friends tell me since you are new to the story of Fallout, you would have this problem. That might be true but I’ve played The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, and the past versions of these games.
So, in my eyes I know how these games are framed. Was this a problem with Skyrim? In my opinion, no. There are times where I find myself comparing the two games. For instance, which one has a better dialogue system or why isn’t a dual handed perk in Fallout 4?
This was easy in Skyrim, when you are beginning a quest you have three or four dialog choices. Here is an example: Let’s say a town is being attacked by a dragon and a towns person asks you for help. The first choice being the righteous path, saying “Yes, I will slay the dragon,” your second choice is the neutral response: “I really don’t want to, but I’ll do it,” and the final choice you have is the negative response: [Thor’s Voice] “I say thee NAY!”
In some games that have a dialog option in them, these will vary and could cause a response in the NPCs.
I used to play Dungeons & Dragons a lot. Every time you create a character you had to “roll your character” meaning with a toss of a dice or die you could determine how attractive, smart, or even how smelly your character is. Every time I played this game, I was always in the “Lawful Good, Crusader” alignment. In the same way, this is like Fallout with S.P.E.C.I.A.L perks. In these karma based games, my character was always portrayed as this.
As someone who plays video games, I am a compilation of many different heroes. Maybe some of these heroic qualities were passed down to me. Being a gamer had made me a better person. In this game, you have hard choices to make. Should this group die and let the others live or do you sabotage one group for the favor of the others? It brings up moral lines that I won’t cross in real life.
While other gamers might not think on these concepts, my gameplay does. I’m not saying that life mirrors gaming but the choices in are more gray. Now, I don’t usually have these problems with karma systems in games, what changed? It could be because of me growing older or going back to college. Somehow gaming changed me, and it reflects in my gaming.
When people read this they will think that I’m crazy.
The most common response will be “It’s just a game.” They are right, this is a game that has choices I struggle with. Looking at my reaction to this game internally, you can see that this must stem from my life. My wanting to keep NPC’s as friends because of my lack of friends as a child. Why would I want to push away and become an enemy with these characters? Walking into a room of Synths, Brotherhood of Steel, Railroad members, they are my friends. They don’t attack me and after 200 years I feel safe in this world.
If I call myself a gamer, then it is my responsibility to save others rather than dividing everyone, where force is the last option not the first. I want to finish this game like all others before it but I won’t. I will not sacrifice my character need for answers, for the state of the Fallout world.