Attack of the Movies 3D Review: Unplayable

I noticed Attack of the 3D Movies in Game Stop and decided “Hey for four dollars, it’ll at least be good for a laugh.” Boy was I wrong. This is possibly the worst game I’ve ever played. The core mechanics of the game are broken. It is unplayable.

Reviewed on Xbox 360.

Story

There is no story. If you’re unfamiliar with the game (as I was) it is similar the game Time Crisis. Meaning it’s a first-person shooter that brings you around a map to shoot whatever is on screen (from here, the similarities stop). There are several B-Movie scenarios that serve as a general plot in each episode. That’s it. They’re not long but they are boring and tedious. The game comes with 3D glasses so you could play each level in 3D. Not only is the 3D pointless it actually makes the gameplay harder. Speaking of the “Gameplay”…

Gameplay

Imagine playing Time Crisis at the mall with a friend. You use the guns, reload by shooting off screen, pedals to cover etc… Now imagine sitting in your living room playing the same game, with a controller and no cover system. Also, imagine a reticule that automatically sits at the center of the screen. If you play with multiple people, it’s impossible to even tell what reticule is yours. The problem is aiming. When you play Time Crisis the reticule follows where you point your gun. Without that basic system the creators assumed you wanted your gun centered on-screen at all times and did not want to shoot what’s in front of you.

If someone has played this on Wii, let me know if this system works at all. Although even if it does, on the 360 it is straight up broken… which is not OK.

Shooting is a core game mechanic (Imagine that!). Without being able to move a reticule and keep it on your side of the screen, you can’t shoot down things being flung at you (i.e. acid from bugs), you can’t shoot things like health packs or ammo (which appear to be much smaller than anything else on-screen)–this all makes each story a chore to play through. It’s aggravating to try and play a game that is actively making it harder for you to play.

***This is a Current Gen game***

Final Thoughts

This review is a warning to people who come across this game. Seriously, if you come across it: run for the hills. This game sucks. I had never heard of this game before and wish I had never found it. Light four dollars on fire and watch them burn. It’ll be way more entertaining.