Digital Date Night: Englebert and Everlyn

Part two of my attempt to indoctrinate the wife into playing MMOs by dressing it up as a romantic experience. In this instalment, I try to keep my mind out of the gutter long enough to show her the ropes and create some characters for our online liaison.

[This is Part Two of the three-part Digital Date Night: TERA series, click here to read from the start.]Jacqui toyed with the different classes, basing her decision almost entirely on her character's suitability for our 'blind date', and she eventually settled on a High Elf Slayer. I suspect her choice was an attempt to strike a balance between the wholesome and the downright slutty options available. I was secretly a little disappointed, but to be fair, the Slayer's figuring-hugging battle frock and thigh-length fight-me boots still left little to the imagination, so my as yet unmade avatar would still struggle to maintain a gentlemanly line of sight. var adunit_index = 4000; if ((adunit_index != 1000 & adunit_index != 1001) || (adunit_index == 1000 && device_category != 'MOBILE') || (adunit_index == 1001 && device_category == 'MOBILE')) { if (active_ad_units[adunit_index] != undefined) { console.log('Dyn Unit Legacy', active_ad_units[adunit_index], adunit_index); googletag.cmd.push(function () { var adunit_index = 4000; if (typeof(pubwise) != 'undefined' & pubwise.enabled === true) { console.log('Dyn PW'); pwpbjs.que.push(function() { pubwiseLazyLoad([gptadslots[adunit_index]], true); }); } else { console.log('Dyn Direct'); googletag.display('div-sjr-4000'); googletag.pubads().refresh([gptadslots[adunit_index]]); } //googletag.pubads().refresh([gptadslots[4000]]); }); } } Yo! Check Out My Hot WheelI left Jacqui to finish creating Everlyn and complete the tutorial whilst I aimed to put together a suitor worthy of her delectable High Elf. As much as I was tempted to go for a old, grizzled freak or a shovel-faced beast, I thought I ought to put some effort into a kind of Prince Charming for that innocent Disney vibe - somebody around here needed to go for the moral high ground. The human Sorcerer appeared to be a snappy dresser and even comes with his own steering wheel, which might impress the ladies. And so Englebert was born.  As a confident gamer, I skipped the tutorial and sent Englebert, in all his cheesy chisel-jawed Disney-esque glory, straight to the Isle of Love Dawn to await his hot date. This also meant I could go back to the far more entertaining activity of watching Jac's interpretation of the strange world of MMOs.Meanwhile, the opening storyline had found Everlyn bereft of the garments she was so carefully selected for and was stranded on a beach in nothing but some skin-tight leather suspenders, a corset and some skimpy underwear. It was raining and she was getting drenched. Absolutely soaked to the skin. Her soft, perfect, leather-bound elfin skin...This date was looking better and better all the time. Disney be damned.It was a shame then, that I'd left Englebert elsewhere, sunning himself and polishing his steering wheel, whilst poor Everlyn apparently had a shipwrecked crew to rescue from a grey and watery death.Virgin TerritoryIt was all a bit of a disaster. Jacqui's initial interest was in danger of waning as she struggled to grasp what the tutorial required of her. It didn't help that it was a little text heavy and she's dyslexic, so anything reliant on reading instantly falls into the 'not fun' category.In order to keep the momentum up, I became the narrator, reading the dialogue boxes as she found herself assigned the role of assistant to the medics who were providing aid to injured soldiers scattered across the beach. There was a degree of romantic symmetry at work here as Jacqui and I had met in a similar way – I was a paramedic and she had been my trainee. Jacqui's complete inability to grasp the HUD radar meant I was doubling as her SatNav system, but we got there in the end. After Everlyn had fulfilled an number of back-and-forth tasks on the beach, she was sent to the Centurion for some better gear. Luckily, the Centurion happened to be another inappropriately dressed woman who clearly understood Everlyn's pressing need to get some better threads for her hot date. In a display of female solidarity, she supplied our semi-naked heroine with a tasteful yet racy evening gown and some footwear.Jacqui pointed out that, as the women stood on the beach, there seemed to be a certain amount of rivalry between them as they preened and attempted to out-pose and out-pout each other. Jac also commented that, for all the supposed friendliness of this Centurion, the gold-heeled boots she'd provided were totally inappropriate for the apparent oncoming combat and that maybe she was hoping to see Everlyn turn her ankle.Saucer of milk for table two.Next: Server-Cross'd Lovers Digital Date Night IndexPart One: A TERA Rising RomancePart Two: Englebert and EverlynPart Three: Server-Cross'd Lovers

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Broken paramedic and coffee-drinking Englishman whose favourite dumb animal is an oxymoron. After over a decade of humping and dumping the fat and the dead, my lower spine did things normally reserved for Rubik's cubes, bringing my career as a medical clinician to an unexpectedly early end. Fortunately, my real passion is in writing and given that I'm now highly qualified in the art of sitting down, I have the time to pursue it. Having blogged about video games (well, mostly EVE Online) for years, I hope to channel my enjoyment of wordcraft and my hobby of gaming into one handy new career that doesn't involve other people's vomit.

Published Feb. 18th 2013

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