GTA Sums Up Black Friday in 6 Gifs

1 of 8

If you live in America then surely you're getting ready for those Thanksgiving festivities less than a week away. Fun, family and food is what awaits you but, if you're like most people; Thanksgiving is just a blip on your Christmas radar and Black Friday is where it's really at.

Now, I personally have never taken part in Black Friday as the media has me too afraid to attempt to wade into the pre-holidays shopping mall grand theft. However, there are plenty of brave souls just waiting for the Thanksgiving clock to strike 6pm, -- as early as 3pm -- in some places.

Whether you're a vet or a newbie of the mass destruction of shopping centers across the state, if you're looking for some serious steals, there's a thing or two to learn from Grand Theft Auto.

Keep reading for a basic guide of what to expect from Black Friday and how to handle it, a la GTA gifs.

Shopping Carts Aren't To Be Taken Seriously

Sure, on any other day you're probably used to grabbing one of these bad boys the minute you walk into a store but on Black Friday it's the survival of the fittest and if you have hands you better use them.

Now, if you want to grab a shopping cart be ready to defend that thing like a newborn baby because people are like dingoes and they're going to run away with it and who's going to have swag then? Not you.

Trust No One

Yes, this includes the birds.  Black Friday is kind of like a full moon, the minute it hits everyone goes crazy and even the family dog can't be trusted, let alone a seagull. Stolen cars usually isn't part of the festive shopping sport but really anything can happen. Just remember, it will be harder for a seagull to pull you out of the car if you're wearing a seatbelt.

Black Friday Bad Karma

Now, not all Black Friday's are the way you see on the TV. Believe it or not, there are people out there that actually have common sense but then you have your "Trevors" who try to get one over on the crowds and it just ends up blowing up on them and the only thing that's going to be wasted is your time.

Stand your ground but don't be a jerk, politeness will pay off and remember Christmas is just around the corner and Santa's watching.

MINE

I dare you to go into any aisle and grab the last something. The last dress, the last toy, the last game console; anything, grab and it see how that works out for you. Most likely, if there is someone who wants that item as bad as you do be prepared for some kind of surprise attack because it's going to happen. 

Whatever you grab, hold it tight because if you drop it it's going to be more than just spilled coffee.

There's A Snake in My Boot

Honestly, this gif is a little bit creepy but so is the toy section of most stores on Black Friday. If you think kids are the spawn of Satan, then you're going to think their parents are the one and only Satan who did said spawning.

Black Friday has the habit of bringing out tons of stereotypes including the Super Parent who will do anything and everything to get what their kid(s) wants. If you can avoid them do it or you're going to really wish that there was a snake in your boot.

Small Town Boogie 

As these gifs show, Black Friday can be a stressful time especially if you live in a large city. However, if you're from a smaller town you can rejoice because that means you don't have to rush out into the crowd the day after.

So, do a little dance and go ahead and enjoy another slice of pumpkin pie and turkey induced coma and leave shopping for another day.

See No Black Friday, Speak No Black Friday, Hear No Black Friday

While we managed to sum up Black Friday with the help of GTA, there is nothing like an "oh boy" to really do the trick. The shopping holiday is a headache for everyone involved and with the antics that go on it can get a little embarrassing.

If you're lucky enough to avoid the pre-holiday drama, do it. If you're not, good luck and we await to hear your shopping tales.

Published Nov. 16th 2016

Columnist

Designer, gamer and geek culture writer.

Related
8

Connect with us

Related Topics