Man, this list made me depressed. Know why? Because as long as I live, I'll never meet anybody cooler to drink with than some of my favorite video game characters. And chances are, neither will you. When will you clear out a goblin's nest and celebrate in a tavern with any of your friends? Or better yet, drink and kill goblins at the same time? Not going to happen, my friends.
But a guy can dream, can't we? That's why I put this list together in honor of the boys and girls of video gaming I'd love to share a brew with, whether in celebration of a quest well done or just fueling up on liquid courage for demon-slaying ahead. With drinking buddies like these, I'd say yes to anything. Anything.
Nathan Drake and Victor Sullivan. Globe-trotting, swashbuckling, world-saving treasure hunters extraordinaire. If you're ever lucky enough to sit down with these two over a couple of cold ones, you're either planning the heist of the century of having a toast for the adventure of your lives.
And when things get hairy with the locals, boy do these fellas know their way around a bar fight. The first scene of Uncharted 3 features this scrappy pair in an epic bar brawl against pub full of London thugs. Well-used to fighting against impossible odds, these two lovable scoundrels are always up their eyeballs in adventure.
How would any of you like to party with a space pirate?
Captain Grayson Hunt always pairs his drink with mayhem and mass carnage. He doesn't just get drunk before and/or after carving his way through a planet's-worth of bloodthirsty psychos; he'll toss back a few during. He's the kind of guy who enjoys the challenge of committing genocide while impaired.
If he sounds too intense to have a good time with without getting slaughtered, don't worry about it: under Gray's grizzled, violent exterior beats the heart of a man who cares deeply about his friends. He'll watch your back to hell and back, or at least let you borrow a neat gun. Murdering's always better with friends, after all. And lots of space booze.
That rock-hard barrel of awesome up there is one of the original video game party animals: Big Brother Darunia, Boss of the Gorons and King of all Dad Bods.
Since he's from a mostly E-Rated series there's only so much drinking and debauchery he can get away with on screen, but just look at that grinning mug of his; that's the face of a man who'll drain a few barrels of Hyrule beer and go smash a dragon's skull in as a weekend hobby. But the best part about Darunia isn't his own strength; brotherhood and friendship are pretty much his theme, for life. He's always looking out for others, making sure his people are safe and happy. He's a fantastic guy all around. I'm just not sure I could keep up with him.
For those of you who don't remember the cult masterpiece that is Beyond Good and Evil, that crazy flying pig-man up there is the first and greatest sidekick in the game, good old Uncle Pey'j. That's him leaping through a third-story window to butt-slam an alien.
He's got boisterous personality, a mysterious space-outlaw past, he's a genius inventor and mechanic, and the branch leader of an inter-galactic rebel organization. But even as Chief of the Hillyan IRIS Network, he'll still a fun guy to hang around. He'll go treasure-hunting, he'll go hovercraft racing, he'll go alien-fighting, cop fighting, monster fighting, robot fighting, any kind of fighting from here to across the universe. And he'll definitely take a load off with you at the Akuda Bar downtown. No matter what happens, Uncle Pey'j will have your back. I love this guy this so much.
Surprised that a girl beat out all those manly party-boys on this list? Don't be: Ayla is so bro-tastic she puts them all to shame.
Let me set the stage here: you and your party warp back to 65 Million B.C., and the first thing you see is a statuesque blonde cave girl pummeling a pack of velociraptor mutants with her bare hands. When the dust clears, she immediately throws a huge cave party in your honor, complete with crazy dancing, giant prehistoric grillables, and suspiciously intoxicating "soup". We see her drain about eight man-sized bowls of it.
Afterwards she spends all day helping you partially dismantle an evil dinosaur empire by--you guessed it--beating up more dinosaurs. Then she goes back to her village presumably to party some more. And tomorrow: more dinosaur ass-kicking.
That is her life, ladies and gentlemen. An endless cycle of having awesome cave feasts, killing dinosaurs, and repeat. She's a wild Triassic bombshell. She's a walking extinction event. She parties big, fights big, and she's got a big heart for friend and foe alike. She does nothing, absolutely nothing, halfway or halfhearted. She is generosity, courage, and adventure personified. In other words, the perfect drinking buddy.
I think I'm in love.
Pigsy, from Enslaved: Odyssey to the West
Conker the Squirrel, from Conker's Bad Fur Day
Augus, from Asura's Wrath
The Iron Bull, from Dragon Age: Inquisition
Zeke Dunbar, from Infamous 1 & 2
Sergeant Johnson, from the Halo series