10 Annoying Things People Wearing Google Glass Will Do

No one looks good in Google Glass. No one. What other annoying things will people do in them?
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(WARNING: Jump video & screenshots are slightly NSFW; no nudity but simulated sex & swearing.)

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Google Glass is the technology of the future – a wearable computer with an optical head-mounted display that will display information in a smartphone-like, hands-free format and can communicate with the internet via natural language voice commands.

But as with any new technology (smaller and smaller Bluetooth headsets anyone?), there are going to be side effects. There will be awkward moments. How many can you think of? Here are some to start you off.

1. Look incredibly dorky.

Come on. There’s no getting around it. Even superhunk porn star James Deen can’t pull off the Google Glass without looking like he’s missing his pen protector and high school chem set. Maybe Google Glass will stand to level the playing field a little when it comes to picking up cute girls at the bar, but it definitely doesn’t do wonders for the aesthetically-inclined.

2. Stare at you while they are Facebook stalking you

There is a well-worn knowing look that passes over a girl’s face from time to time if you happen to be lying through your teeth while you’re paying for their drink at a bar. That “you have a girl back home, three kids, plus a really tight pair of salmon-pink pants, what are you trying to pull here?” look.

Imagine what happens when they really can fact-check you just that fast – and not just because you accidentally started hitting on your sister’s best friend.

3. Film every awkward and embarrassing moment in your life.

The number of “Top 100 embarrassing moments in ___” videos (and even more personal ones) have spiked in recent years thanks to the proliferation of cell phone devices and the number of people who’ll do and post anything for viewer hits.

This is already the case while the majority of these videos are captured through visible, handheld devices which often require the cameraman to hold it in a very distinct “I am filming this” position. This is the case when there is advance notice to escape.

Imagine what will happen when all a person has to do is look at you

4. Make this face.

They’re not paying attention to you. And they don’t care if you know it. They’re Googling vulgar words on their Glass, and probably trying to figure out what to make for dinner while they’re at it.

5. “Catch me on my good side” could get awkward.

“No honey, maybe if I turn my head like this… down here… of course while in public, this is photography, this is art! Instagram is going to wild!

And let’s not forget, there are going to be a lot of bendy-necked people trying to capture “the perfect shot” of the same photo-worthy incident.

6. It’ll never stay ad-free.

They will be constant founts of unwanted knowledge. Plus, they’ll probably spend a large chunk of time complaining to you about scrolling through all the ad prompts that pop up just by having you in the screen.

Your company, it will be valued.

7. Sometimes you just don’t want them to know.

“What? Porn star? No. I’m a secretary now. I work at a desk. I answer phones.”

While not all of us may have this particularly colorful past, sometimes you just don’t need the other person to have the upper hand when it comes to figuring out who you are… particularly when you can’t remember their name either.

8. Who else is listening?

Quite similar to having secret video recordings without your knowledge, this is the secret three-way call of yesteryear. What Mean Girls would have done if they had been equipped with Google Glass and powers of unseen group calling…

9. Okay, maybe not this. But what if?

They might not help you figure out if she’s a boyshorts or a brazilian kind of girl (at least, not yet), but more apps will come. And one day…

10. Look incredibly dorky.

It’s not just men. 

Can you think of any others?

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Stephanie Tang
Avid PC gamer, long-time console lover. I enjoy shooting things in the face and am dangerously addicted to pretty. I'm also a cat.