3 Ways Magic: the Gathering is Ruining My Life

I am the Amy Winehouse of the Magic community.

I am the Amy Winehouse of the Magic community.

I’m a fairly new player of Magic: The Gathering. I was asked plenty of times during my youth to pick up the game, I was always able to fend of my brothers with broken promises. I was eventually forced by my significant other to start playing – against my will. The game started to consume my life; trips to the gaming store, Magic nights that lasted countless hours, spending my entire paycheck on Magic cards. I’ve now realized this game is beginning to destroy me. 

1. Crumbling Relationships

I’m not going to say keeping up with my relationships has been easy since I started playing. The amount of fights I’ve gotten into because my boyfriend played Fog…it’s just too many to count. I seriously hate that card. My friends and family beg for me to not get upset when someone clones my commander, forcing him back into the commander zone. I try to hold in my fury, but I can’t. I’m just way too competitive.

I have a thirst for blood, which can only be satisfied by sending in ten 2/2 zombie creature tokens at them. I’m not well liked.

2. Neglecting Work

My work is now starting to suffer. As I sit at my desk, I should be writing articles, filing paperwork, but what am I doing? I’m creating my own deck on Amazon or researching cards and sending them to my friends. I’m sure if my boss looked at the “work” I was doing I would be fired. Until that day comes, when I’m confronted about Geth, Lord of the Vault, I will continue to search and create.

During the middle of this article, while looking for pictures to post I actually got side tracked because I found a card I wanted for one of my decks. I kid you not. Seriously, thirty extra minutes for this Ajani Goldmane card featured to the left.

3. Dwindling Funds

Oh, a 10 cent card won’t hurt. I can definitely afford that $1.50 legendary card. Maybe I can get a few more cards. WRONG! That 10 cent card turns into my entire paycheck if I’m not careful. Trips to the gaming store become day long events and result in me spending about 50 dollars on Magic cards. The madness just never ends. I am now starting to budget part of my paycheck for Magic cards. I’m starting to pick which bills have the lowest late fee and calculate if I’m getting the right amount of nutrients because all I can afford is ramen noodles.

I’m losing control of my life. If there was a 13 step program for getting off Magic, I’d join it in a heartbeat. On second thought, a new expansion is about to be released.

Of course, I’m not going to quit playing Magic any time soon. I’m starting to get the hang of it and there is nothing better than opening a fresh booster pack. Seriously, guys, it’s better than huffing permanent markers.

What is your obsession? What games will you spend dubious amounts of money on? Leave a comment!

About the author

Raven Hathcock

Better dead than a damsel. I'm a Magazine Journalism student at the University of Georgia. I enjoy shooting bullymongs in the head while I'm not cuddling my cat.