Bioshock Infinite Just Needs to Be Released Already, Okay?

Bioshock Infinite trailer called "The Lamb of Columbia"; I could not want this game more than I do right now. It's impossible. My need consumes me in a never-ending inferno.

If you searched Youtube for Bioshock Infinite, you’d get roughly 234,000 results. Sure, not all of these are trailers or actually related to content in any way, but it’s pretty obvious that Bioshock Infinite is going to be one of the most talked-about games released this quarter.

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I have this thing where if I’m really, really excited about something–a book, a movie, a video game–I will staunchly refuse to learn even the slightest detail about its content. You should have seen me with the Hobbit; I would straight up jam my fingers in my ears for the entirety of about three weeks pre-release. It was, I’m not ashamed to say, a little ridiculous. I firmly believe, however, that my enjoyment of the film was increased because of it.

But something about how Irrational has handled the marketing for this game is pretty much becoming my new drug. It’s a weird dichotomy–I MUST WATCH EVERYTHING–while remaining as completely spoiler-free as possible. But it’s so, so hard. Irrational has become some kind of great king of video game trailers. I mean, look at this.


Also, who started the trend of using really excellent music in video game trailers? Because I need to kiss them.

What I know about the game right now is this:

  • There’s a guy who needs to pay off debts and apparently he’s a badass.
  • There’s a little girl who is super powerful and kind of crazy and she mostly wants to watch the world burn (and kill everybody with her brain). 
  • There’s a seriously freaky bird mutant that give me the serious creeps.
  • It’s beautiful. 

And that is literally all I need to know to want to play this game as badly as I do. I would actually cut off digits to play this game right now. (Maybe not my own. Whatever. Details.) If the world was a shinning, magical place, I would only need wait another week to have my hands on its beautiful chrome disk, but, as is horribly typical of the gaming industry, the release has been pushed back to March 26th. Which, as you probably realize, is a month away.

So what the heck am I supposed to do in the meantime? 


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HC Billings
HC Billings is an excellent gamer, acceptable writer, and laughable parkourist.