Once upon a time I knew this thing called the Sun, it recently reappeared and has made my life a misery. Before the times of the Sun, it was cool, and dry, during these Sun times, it is hot and humid, so much so that my life has become a spiralling decent into madness.
I am Rico Broody, I live on the island of Panook, and this is my story of my decent into madness, due to the effects of the Sun.
Before the Sun my grappling gun, the AKGrap47, attached to every surface I wanted it to, I shot it from my arm, and I used it to reach great heights with no effort. Alas that time has passed, the Sun has made everything so wet, and hot that the metal of the grapple melts away as soon as it touches a surface, or cannot grip due to the amount of water.
And as for me, I am so hot and wet that living at all has become harder and harder, the sheer amount of heat as rendered me unable to think like a decent human being, instead I am thinking like an animal. I am tiger stalking its prey, a monkey swinging from tree to tree throwing its excrement at a passersby, I am a crocodile snapping up anything I do not like, I am a shark lurking in the deep dark places of the sea waiting to strike anything … and everything.
My decent into madness doesn’t stop there, I now live on this crazy island, and have overthrown the tyrannical leaders of the tribes, and am leading all the people of the island to my final prey, the evil over-president (or lord as he prefers) El Presidente Alberto Montenegro, he is my prize, I will seize his head and will drink his blood, and will be ruler of this Island, this Island known as Panook.
My name is Rico Broody, and I am pretty damned hot.
Thanks to Louis Testemale (if he wants to be found, he will find us) for the inspiration to write this.
