Are you just starting out in the job market and having a hard time making your resume look impressive to recruiters?
Are you inexperienced in the fine art of slinging around corporate buzzwords in order to impress people whose only discernible skill is wearing a suit (No offense, P. Diddy…)?
Good news, my friends. I’m here to help.
I’m going to give you an easy-to-use conversion chart of terms that you commonly encounter in online gaming and their corresponding business-world equivalents. I would say that this is only in jest but I actually have my experience as the Director of MMORPG Programming at Dragon*Con on my resume, and it really has helped me get the job that I currently enjoy. This may actually work for you.
Let’s start with some easy ones.
Guild Leader – “Executive management with an emphasis on achieving team success in a high-intensity competitive environment.“
What it actually means – You lead a team of people, usually with a team of guild officers at your command, in a series of raids and other events designed to make your guild successful. This could apply to PvP, PvE, or even social guilds. If you don’t believe that being a guild leader is a “high-intensity competitive environment”, then I suggest you watch this video.
That leads us to our next obvious choice…
Guild Officer – “Front-line manager focused on tactical execution of overall corporate strategies.“
What it actually means – You’re the guy tasked with things like recruiting, managing the guild forums, promoting recruits to full members and other day-to-day guild tasks. You’re not “large and in charge”, but you’re part of the guild’s inner circle and you have a very strong voice in which way the guild moves forward.
Here are some other easy ones…
Loot Officer – “Organizational supply-chain specialist responsible for maximizing the effectiveness of the distribution of essential materials within the enterprise.“
What it actually means – You determine how “phat lewtz” get distributed to the guild’s membership. You might use DKP, Suicide Kings, or even a Loot Council, but someone has to keep track of who got what and who can best use an upgrade when it becomes available. Think that’s not a full time job?
Recruiting Officer – “Human Resources specialist tasked with recruiting and retaining top-drawer talent within the organization.“
What it actually means – This isn’t all that different from the real world equivalent. You have to screen prospective members (employees). You have to make a regular habit of keeping up with online forums where potential recruits may be found. In the MMO world, that usually means game forums or your own guild’s website. In the real world it means LinkedIn and job websites.
“But I’m not a guild officer!” you say?
Don’t worry, peons of the gaming world. I’ve got you covered. Now is when we will stretch the bounds of truth to their breaking-point. If you get away with using one of these, I’d love to hear about it.
Guild Crafter – “Professional artisan, specializing in…“
- Cooking – “Culinary arts“
- Blacksmithing – “Metalworking” or “Industrial fabrication“
- Tailoring – “Textile engineering“
- Fishing – “Wildlife management“
- Leatherworking – “Environmentally-friendly manufacturing“
- Engineering – Self explanatory… too easy.
- Jewelcrafting – “Micro-scale manufacturing“
- Alchemy – “Chemical engineering“
- Herbalism – “Agricultural specialist“
- Inscription – “Technical writing“
- Enchanting – “Quality enhancement specialist“
Forum Troll – “Social Media Specialist” or “SEO Consultant“
Gold Farmer – “Finance” or “Banker“
Chinese Gold Farmer – “Specialist in International Finance“
Casual Gamer – “Temporary employee” or “Contractor“
Armed with this guide, you too can “…[enhance] your professional viability and achieve a win-win paradigm by leveraging cross-functional synergies and breaking out of a fully-depreciated silo-based career mode.”
