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SimCity: The Musical – Part 1

The tale of EA's devious meddling has happened before and will happen again.
This article is over 11 years old and may contain outdated information

The EA bungling of the SimCity release is one of the story archetypes of our time. A comedy of errors that leads to tragedy. Or is it a tragedy of comedic proportions? This tale has happened before and will happen again.

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Our cast:

The players – The faceless mass whose voice cries out as one.

EA – The antagonist. No one likes you, and your plots and schemes are apparent from the beginning of the story. No one wants you to win.

Maxis – The affable, but misguided sidekick.

Act I – Scene 1:

A dark stage. Spotlight on a single player at a computer, playing SimCity. A muted newscast plays in the background. The newscast fades up on:

“EA today announced they will be releasing a new version of SimCity coming March 2013.”

Spotlights appear all over the stage, showing other players all gazing rapturously at the newscast. Musical number starts: “We Built This City” as players cavort around stage in celebration.

As the song fades and players disappear, EA and Maxis enter from stage right. Back to single spotlight on both.

Maxis: “Thanks so much for all the support while we’ve been working on the game!”

EA: “Gladly! I’m sure we will both benefit quite handsomely from its release. By the way, I wanted to talk with you about some of the decisions you’ve made on the game.”

Maxis: “Oh, um, sure.”

EA: “It’s nothing serious. In this wondrous new age of the Internet, I just thought it would be great if players could play together online…”

Maxis: “Well, sure, that could be fun.”

EA: “All the time. See, I think the best way to protect the game would be to force players to authenticate with us any time they want to play.”

Maxis: “Uh huh, and what about players who have enjoyed playing the old game alone and offline for years?”

EA: “What about them?” (ominous laugh)


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