Where Are the Toilets? (And Other Gaming Oddities)

Whether you're teabagging enemies or you notice there aren't any toilets in the city, you have to admit the gaming world can be quite...weird sometimes.

Whether you're teabagging enemies or you notice there aren't any toilets in the city, you have to admit the gaming world can be quite...weird sometimes.
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Video game characters don’t have to ever use the bathroom, eat food, sleep or even speak. But with all the simulated realism in most games today, it seems kind of odd to just galavant through the woods or a post-apocalyptic cityscape for hours on end and never have to do any of those (essential) things. And what’s more, it’s really crazy to see your character doing something that just down-right impossible to do in the real world. 

So, let’s take a look at some of the necessities of life missing from games,  as well as the outrageous things you do in video games that would be insane in real life.

Never Eating. Never Drinking. 

There are games that often put you in a world in which you just don’t need to eat, and your character will (somehow) be fine. This is definitely the case in Skyrim. Without any mods, Skyrim would let you waltz right on through the game without having to munch on a single piece of food. The same goes for drinking, often you can drink, but the affects are usually null. The ONLY affect drinking has on your character is when you’re guzzling down potions to get a quick buff or debuff.

You Can Sleep When You’re Dead … Or Something Like That

If you’re a gamer, you know this all too well: You will eventually pass out from gaming too much… Look, it’s happened to us all. At some point, you’ll need to snooze. Even science says we’ve gotta’ sleep about a third of each day to function right.

But in the virtual world, your character can almost always go without sleep — and almost never receive any kind of consequences from doing so. Haven’t sleep in over 40-hours of dragon-slaying combat? Eh, no biggie. 

Yo, I Need a Place to Sit (Where the Heck’s the Furniture?)

Okay, there are a lot of games out there that are guilty of this. I mean, what’re all the digital carpenters and builders doing with all their time?

But let’s single out one series that does this a lot: Battlefield. Okay, Dice kind of fixed this in Battlefield 1. But in the other Battlefield games, the devs would usually have a few building scattered around each multiplayer map — WITH ALL OF THEM EMPTY OR ALMOST EMPTY! Where’s all the detail? It’s weird when a real-life house no furniture. And it’s weird when it’s like that in a game.

I Speak. I No Speak. 

This one is kind of a classic. In games like The Legend of Zelda and GTA 3, you play as a character who rarely, if ever, speaks. In games like South Park, the developers actually make fun of the fact your character doesn’t speak. What’s with all the silence, guys? 

Man, I really Gotta’ (Not) Go. Where are All the Toilets? 

This is a big “whuh?” in the Elder Scrolls series of games. Dragonborn ain’t got no time to go. And while it may be medieval and you might expect them to drop a poop in a bucket, you’ve got high-tech dwemer robots buzzing around for goodness sake. That’s not to mention the sewer systems in Riften and Solitude being mucky cesspools of well, I really don’t know…

And think about the imperial city in Oblivion. NOT A SINGLE TOILET. So yeah, the absence of even one toilet is a bit weird.

Okay. Weird Stuff Your Character Can Do, But You Can’t

Just as it’s weird that your character occasionally can’t do the things above, it would also be weird to think you can do these things in real life:

Using Mounted Weapons as Portable Weapons

We’ve all done this in classic sandbox games like Just Cause or Saint’s Row (heck, we’ve even done it in Call of Duty). Grab a minigun and run around firing it from the hip.

It’s a bit funny when you think about it.

Running Into a Fire Just to See If It Will Kill You.

Look, this is just fun sometimes, okay? That’s the beauty of games: You get to test anything and everything that should be lethal just to see if it will actually kill you. It sounds crazy and in real life, we have a sensibility about that kind of thing. But when it comes to gaming, there’s no worry at all! 

Teabagging, or Showing Your Opponent Who’s Boss

Now, we’ve all done this at one point or another in games, and it goes without saying it would be crazy to do in real life, ESPECIALLY if it’s just to piss somebody off.

So, sure, real-life elements can be good sometimes to help gamers suspend their disbelief, but honestly, who wants to worry about the basic necessities of life in every video game? (Survival games are a different story).

Likewise, the crazy things you do in games would be insane to perform in real life! 

Do you find the things you do in games every day weird or vice versa? Do you have anything else to add to this subject? Let us know in the comments!

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