Where’s the Follow Dot? — Examining Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare’s Trailer Part 1

Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare has been announced! With that announcement came a trailer with many moments that will likely give insights into the future of the Follow dot. And with that trailer that came with that announcement, now comes and extremely detailed satire-examination of the trailer, that will probably take longer than reading my original post.
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Oh good, I was afraid it was being played on an N64 like most Call of Duty titles.

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It's Killzone: Mercenary! Danner, is that you?

Oh look, it's a Killzone Mercenary-Shadow Fall crossover. I smell time traveling hijinks!

Look! It's the cover of Fuse! Except the lost two characters so they could have real personalities.

Call of Duty "never asked for this."

We now happily present James Cameron's Avatar: Black Ops.

We have the technology. We can produce knit caps for every soldier! WE WILL BE INVINCIBLE!

Also, looks like Atlas is definitely shrugging.

Texture glitching is now a feature!

I am Kevin Spacey, yet not making more House of Cards in this scene. Something is wrong with the universe.

We only make our games from the finest sledgehammers.

Robo crouch! It's like crouching, but uses enough energy to power a Sony Walkman.

Idris Elba? Is that you?

"Could you please open the door?"

"Oh, sure mate!"

"Oh s***, you're my enemy?"

"Nah, I just am wearing the same suit with different colors. Common mistake!"

We have achieved making conveniently placed chest high walls available ANYWHERE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. Your kindergarten? Chest high walls. Your yoga class? Chest high walls. Your car? Chest. High. Walls.


"Noob, you literally have the worst aim of all time!"

Pre-order now to get ANOTHER CHEST HIGH WALL!!!!!!

This isn't in-game footage. It's just stock footage of Detroit after a football game.

I didn't know Super-Man was cast alongside Kevin Spacey...

And that's why you don't cast Man of Steel's Super-Man as a man near important landmarks.

"It's simple. We kill The Batman."

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Elijah Beahm
Grumpily ranting at this computer screen since before you were playing Minecraft. For more of my work: https://elijahbeahm.contently.com/