You've seen all the lists online: coolest gamer gifts under $20, awesome gamer secret Santa presents for $10 or less, and those are well and good... but what about the really, absurdly ostentatious gifts when money is no object?
We're talking about the things nobody in their right mind would buy, like 8 grand retro video game furniture or 20 grand gaming chairs. That's just the tip of the iceberg, at least for those with a whole lot of disposable income and a gamer they really want to treat well this holiday season.
We're going to cover it all here, from collectibles that are "just" a few hundred dollars all the way up to -- and we're not joking -- limited edition games running a cool million.
Titan X Graphics Card
Got an extra $1,200 lying around? Some sites are selling it for as much as 2 grand, but savvy shoppers can always find graphics cards cheaper than the going rate.
The absolute top of the line at the moment, the Titan X will chew up and spit out any Ultra settings 4K gaming experience you throw at it, and then still ask for more. Make sure your gamer's motherboard and power supply can actually handle this behemoth first though...
How are VR devices still seriously around the $500 price point? At the cost (or in same cases, even higher) of a brand new console before any price drops come into play, it's going to be awhile before this trailblazing medium catches on and becomes more mainstream. But that's OK, because you're absurdly, filthy rich and plan on buying at least two, right?
Emperor Gaming Chair
Calling this a "chair" is perhaps doing it a disservice. MWE Labs describes it as a "work environment," and even that doesn't really capture what's going on here.
Anti-glare lighting, total sound and imagery immersion, completely adjustable (and heated!) seating in multiple dimensions... this thing is nuts!
The price tag matches the insanity of what's on display, starting at a mere $5,300 with none of the extra bells and whistles and going way, way, way up from there as you add on more features.
Skyrim Daedric Helmet
For that cosplayer in your life, this is a gift that won't be soon forgotten. What's most impressive is that despite appearances, this isn't actually a licensed outfit from Bethesda.
Some very crafty person just got inspired by the Daedric armor from Skyrim and decided to start making these hand fashioned helmets based on the design, which are very highly rated at Etsy and will set you back $299.
Fallout 3 Limited Survival Edition
Oh sure, Fallout 4 gets all the love these days, but this Amazon.com exclusive for its genre-redefining predecessor is absolutely worth it for the Capital Wasteland fanatic.
The Survival Edition - featuring a lunch box, Vault-Tec Bobblehead, all sorts of physical maps and manuals, and yes, even a wearable Pip-Boy - now goes for a pretty penny and will run you $700 - $1000 for one of the few sealed copies still remaining.
Space Invaders Couch
Designer furniture gets crazy expensive, and designer furniture based around video games is no exception. There are several different versions of this Space Invaders-themed blocky monstrosity that go in and out of availability and are very limited edition, usually running from $5,000 - $9,000 when they are being made at all. Betcha anything they aren't that comfy though.
Final Fantasy Cold Casts
There is an absolute horde of Final Fantasy memorabilia and collectible figurines from throughout the years covering every last nook and cranny of this massive franchise.
One of the spendier and harder to find series are the old cold cast line covering classic scenes from older games, like Mt. Ordeal from FFIV or the Opera House from FFVI.
There's not too many of them left, so when available they typically go in the $500 - $800 range at eBay.
Saint's Row 4 Super Dangerous Wad Wad Edition
OK, I love Saints Row 4. I mean seriously, I LOVE it. I've dubstepped a gazillion aliens. I saved Christmas with the Saints and killed that evil Santa Claus. I've done horrible, terrible things to destabilize the simulation that no sane person should ever consider.
But never would I be deranged enough to go for the Super Dangerous Wad Wad Edition. Only one is available and it will cost you precisely $1 million dollars.
You also have to contact Deep Silver directly, as presumably PayPal isn't going to be cool with that sort of transaction. But hey, you get a Prius, some elective plastic surgery, and a “spy training day" along with a copy of this amazing game.
For those with less disposable income, there was also the Super Dangerous Wub Wub Edition for a mere $100, which does comes with a rad dubstep gun replica.
There's just something about these old consoles that can't be matched by modern gaming, with a whole generation of gems now forgotten by the gamers of today.
If you want to relive the glory days of the Nintendo 64, then do it in style with this limited edition Pokemon branded version that can go from anywhere between $350 - $700 online.
They came in blue, purple, and orange color schemes, and yes, there really is a raised Pikachu coming out of the side of the console that lights up - that's not just a packaging image.
Nintendo 64 Coffee Table Base
You are going to need somewhere to set that Pikachu N64 you bought your gamer spouse, right? That's where this nifty little item comes in. At a mere $150, it's practically a steal in comparison to anything else on this list! Just don't forget to buy the glass to set on top, otherwise you just have a really big knick knack sitting in the corner.
Full Size Master Chief Costume
I'm sitting here imagining this friend I know who is all about Halo opening a box containing this life-size, multi-piece cosplay of Master Chief, and I can just picture the absurd grin and hysterical happiness that would ensue.
You don't need to be a kid and it doesn't need to be Halloween to suit up as a Spartan and go to war... if you've got $500 - $700 burning a hole in your pocket at the moment, that is.
Taco Bell Xbox 360
Bummed out about the long-reigning Xbox 360 officially leaving production? Missing all those cheesy gordita crunch and Mountain Dew-fueled nights with your best gamer bud?
For that friend of yours who freaking adores all things Taco Bell and is an Xbox fanatic, well, you can't get a better gift than this console literally bearing the bell itself... if you can find one.
Good luck getting it though, as there's only a handful in existence handed out as part of a Canadian promotion and they very, very rarely go for sale online. As it turns out, there are some things even money can't buy!
What did you think of our list of the most absurdly expensive gamer gifts, and have you managed to actually nab anything here for yourself or that special someone in your life?
For those who can only dream of Emperor chairs and pricey limited edition game packages from afar, don't fret! We've already covered all the gamer Christmas gifts that are actually affordable and have got you covered right here.