Juliet's Approach to Dealing With Male Stupidity Among Gamers

Frustrated at the abuse girl gamers sometimes face in this industry? Give 'em chainsaws.

In celebration of Grasshopper Manufacture's Lollipop Chainsaw finally crossing the one million sold mark (it took 20 months, but that's okay), here's a tongue-in-cheek piece to honor the tongue-in-cheek wackiness of the game.

We all know that girl gamers don't always receive the best treatment in this industry. Some well-documented events prove the existence of hostility and bias due to sexism and just plain rampant immaturity. It's a complicated situation but what if it wasn't so complicated? Juliet, the chainsaw-wielding protagonist in Lollipop Chainsaw, probably wouldn't think it's too complicated.

Shuffling, drooling, socially incompetent mouth-breathers giving you problems? Oh, she's got the answer.

"LOL You play video games? Okay, PROVE IT"

The unnecessary "prove it" mantra of the male hardcore gamer, with which most females are now familiar. Basically, when a man discovers that a woman likes to play games, he then subjects her to a quiz in order to appropriately confirm her "gamer card." If Juliet were asked:

"Like, yeah, I play video games. Now I need to prove myself to you just because I'm like, a girl? And a pretty girl with pom-poms? That makes me so-!!!

Girls who play video games must be sex-starved

This is such a hypocritical (and often transparent) accusation men level at women. If you hear some especially adolescent males online, poking fun at a girl gamer because she's also playing online, you might be shocked at what you hear. One of the more common barbs implies that she's only playing because she "can't get a man." I don't see why women can't just say the same thing about you (i.e., you're only playing because you can't get a girl), nor do I miss the fact that you think you're the one to "give it to her."

It's disgusting. So says Juliet.

"I'm playing games so I must be ugly? Like, no way! I play because I...hey, what are you doing...? Stop it!  Just....!!!

Ewwwwwww.....like, get the FU** OFF ME!!!!

"You sure you know which button to press, sweetie?"

Ah yes, the oh-so-common "you're a girl so you must have no idea how to play this game" concept. Sure, it might be logical to assume that more women than men are newcomers to the industry, but that's just because it's true: More women are starting to get involved, so they're not entirely checked out on a controller yet. Maybe. To assume this right off the bat, especially when you're engaged in online play or something, is leaping to conclusions and extremely insulting.

"Oh, I know exactly which 'button to press,' SWEETIE."

There. I hope this has brightened your day with a little vengeful blood, courtesy of Juliet and her simple yet effective means of dealing with male stupidity. :)

Featured Columnist

A gaming journalism veteran of 14 years, a confirmed gamer for over 30 years, and a lover of fine literature and ridiculously sweet desserts.

Published Mar. 10th 2014
  • Ashley Shankle
    Associate Editor
    I still need to play this. The only Grasshopper game I haven't bought. Thanks for the reminder,
  • Fathoms_4209
    Featured Columnist
    It's worth playing. it gets a little stale later on but there's really nothing else like it.

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