10 Memorable GLaDOS Quotes

10 humorous and memorable quotes from the snarky Portal series villain, GLaDOS.

Even if some have never played, those who know anything about the Portal games know GLaDOS. She is one of the top snarky video game villains that can still make you laugh and cringe at the same time as she describes your inevitable demise and countless failures as a test subject.

Now, put your differences behind you. For science. Here are some of GLaDOS's best moments in no particular order.


She may or may not be judging you.

1. "Killing you and giving you advice aren't mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go."

2. "Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said, 'Goodbye,' and you were like, 'No way,' and then I was all, 'We pretended we were trying to murder you'? That was great."

3. "Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart."

4. "I could take a bath in the stuff, put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all. To me."

5. "I was able - Well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever. You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existence to exacting revenge."

6. "Uh oh. You're stranded. Let's see if the cube will try to help you escape. Actually, so that we're not here all day, I'll just cut to the chase: It won't. Any feelings you think it has for you are simply byproducts of your sad, empty life."


7. "That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here on your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.' Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably- Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!"

8. "How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. [clap clap clap] Oh good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that."

9. "No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you."


These are just a few highlights of the fantastic dialogue behind GLaDOS. Did your favorite not make the list? Comment below with your favorite GLaDOS quotes.

Sound clip source: theportalwiki.com


Writer | Artist | Video Gamer | Designated Dad | Video Game Journalism Intern | Aspiring to do something with all of that.

Published Sep. 10th 2015
  • Stephanie Tang
    Featured Columnist
    I take offense to this. She is ALWAYS judging you! ;)
  • Venisia Gonzalez
    Featured Columnist
    I love GLaDOS! One of the best reasons to play the Portal series.

New Cache - article_comments_article_27091
More Portal Content