Trailer Park Boys Greasy Money Tips - Decent!

Greasy Money is pretty greasy, wouldn't you say? You can make it a little less so, though.

Let's not kid ourselves: Trailer Park Boys Greasy Money is crazy slow. I love the boys, but I hate the grind. And the grind is real here.

The problem is, no matter how grindy the game is, I can't stop coming back to check on my cash gains, pop open Lahey's trunk, and go through the rounds to get customers and upgrade my stuff.

There's something about the game that keeps me logging in. Maybe it's how closely it sticks to the tone of the show, maybe it's just to see numbers go up, or maybe I'm just a masochist. Who knows. I don't -- but I do know some tips to help streamline your time with the game and progress a little faster.

One thing you need to know right now is that the only way to really speed up your progress is to spend real money to get hashcoins or to go through the rounds to get free ones (but the whole installing and buy things to get free hashcoins really sucks). You just kind of have to accept the pace of the game, and that you're not meant to sit there and play it for hours on end.

Let's get to it, boys!

Be the liquor

Liquor makes the world go 'round in Greasy Money. You may be trying to rack up dollars and you may be able to get hashcoins, but the liquor is where it's really at.

Every upgrade costs liquor, and the prices get to be high quickly. Having 700 liquor feels pretty great until you end up only being able to afford two upgrades with it, and then it feels terrible. Kind of like actually drinking.

Because you only get large amounts of liquor from Lahey's trunk or paying real money, you have to use it wisely. What this boils down to is: Put some thought into your liquor spending.

Spread your upgrades out

Yeah, liquor gains are crazy slow. For that very reason, it's in your best interest to spread out your business and character upgrades. That and some businesses aren't around in different seasons.

Protip: Don't put all your eggs in Ricky's Used Gas early on.

The game doesn't give you any indication that a business won't be available next season, so you're going to have to go in blind and hope for the best.

Your best business upgrade strategy is to level each business you have available once, and then continue to level them evenly. For example, get your Ricky's Used Gas, Dirty Dancer, Kittyland, etc. to level 2 if you have the cards, then do it again for level 3, and so on. It's a long process but will make your cash gains more even overall.

Characters give bigger bonuses than direct business upgrades

Whether you're just starting out or already deep into Greasy Money, you should be prioritizing character over building upgrades.

Decent! Especially when compared with the direct upgrade pictured above.

Since character cards are harder to come by, their levels give bigger bonuses. It's just a more economical use of your liquor -- and with Canada's economy down the drain, the boys (you) have to put some more thought into their schemes than they actually do in the show.

Gold trunk, legendary trunk, or just straight up liquor? (AKA "What to use hashcoins on")

Hashcoins are crazy hard to come by and, unluckily for us, so are the rare character cards found in the gold trunk.

Early on it is far better to buy liquor with your hashcoins than it is to buy either trunk. You simply need the liquor too badly and it's better to invest in characters who are common, before the prices get to be too much to handle.

With the above in mind, your best use of hashcoins early in the game is to buy liquor straight up.

Obviously the 3000 liquor for 500 hashcoins is the ideal, but if you're not throwing money at the game try to save up for the 1000 liquor for 180 pack.

Do not buy the 50 hashcoins for 250 liquor pack. It's a ripoff.

As for trunks, the legendary is only useful for rare characters.

Getting up to 420 liquor from a 450 hashcoin purchase is just greasy. Only buy it if you need/want those characters and have done what you can otherwise.

I can't recommend the gold trunk unless you absolutely need the one rare character it has at a time.

9 times out of 10, you're going to want to trade with Julian

It's starting to look like all of these tips are focused around dealing with the tiny liquor gains. This one definitely is.

Once in a while a paper bag icon will appear at the bottom of the trailer park with an offer from Julian to trade cards for 20 liquor. You should usually take it.

Usually the trade is worth it because of how valuable liquor is -- but if he wants cards that you absolutely need or rare character cards, don't bother. Julian will just go poach lobsters or something and deal with it.

The same goes for watching ads for liquor: If you get the offer, take it.

Are there more things to Greasy Money tips? If you've played through at least the first few seasons, not that I can think of.

The biggest tip I can give you is to accept the pace of the game, take it easy, and don't throw real money at the boys and their game unless you really like it and already tossed money at a Swearnet subscription.

Published May. 1st 2017

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