Whenever someone is interested in purchasing a game, or even… well, anything, most of the time they’ll head straight to the most reliable source for consumer reviews: the Internet.
Platforms like Metacritic attach a number score to new titles (including movies, TV shows, etc) which allow users to quickly come to a conclusion about the quality of content. GameSkinny is no different.
However, unlike places such as Metacritic, instead of a number rating, we use stars. While you’re more than welcome to go to town on a lovely, descriptive, comprehensive review that wows the editors into blissful seizures, chances are… readers are going straight for the stars.
So, just how many stars should you give a game?
One Star
You installed it, launched it, and immediately quit. Reserve one-star ratings for games you haven’t even finished. Anything that is game-breaking within the first few minutes of gameplay should be considered for the one-star category. You would not even begin playing, much less play again.
Two Stars
You’ve finished the game, but would pay twice the price to get your time back. There were only a few glitches, or maybe more than a few, but the game was playable. The graphics were terrible, though. You would not play again. No story to speak of, no deeper elements. If the game is meant as a satire, it wasn’t funny.
Three Stars
Tolerable, but definitely not a winner. There were a few glitches, perhaps fixable, but you didn’t enjoy it in the least. You completed it, but feel unsatisfied afterwards. The graphics left a lot to be desired. Perhaps the story left you with unanswered questions (in a bad way), didn’t make sense, or was nonexistent. You might play it again… if someone paid you.
Four Stars
You finished it, and it was alright. You wouldn’t write home to Mom about it, but it was engaging enough. The story was easy, or interesting enough, to follow. The graphics were pretty bad, but there weren’t many glitches, and you would play it again if you had nothing else to play.
Five Stars
You played it, and it was fun. You enjoyed the gameplay, the story and didn’t see too many glitches, if any at all. The graphics were pretty average, and not anything to ‘wow’ about. You were intrigued enough to finish, and may even play it again–willingly. You might tell a friend about it, but you wouldn’t buy it for them.
Six Stars
This game was pretty fun. You enjoyed it, you told your friends about it, and you’ll play it again. The graphics are polished, though maybe not as sharp as you’d like, and the gameplay was engaging and entertaining. The plot wasn’t what you thought, or was disappointing. Certain aspects of this game feel boring or unsatisfying. You’d buy it for a friend, but probably as a joke.
Seven Stars
You’d buy this for a friend for Christmas as a sincere gift. The graphics and audio were excellent, there were no glitches to speak of, and the story was fairly interesting. There were some things that left a bad taste in your mouth. Maybe co-op isn’t what you wanted it to be, or there were unnecessary difficulties in set-up. You would definitely play it again.
Eight Stars
This game is awesome. You loved playing it, you play it every day, or you’ve at least played it more than once. There are no game-breaking or graphical issues to speak of, and there are very few bugs. You’d buy it in a four-pack for all your friends to play, but you may only play it two or three times. Maybe it’s not very replayable given the plot or story, or maybe it’s extremely linear when you’re more in to sandbox titles.
Nine Stars
This game is the tits. You love it; it makes you laugh, it makes you cry, it makes you feel all the feels. There are absolutely no glitches, no issues, no difficulties, and your 90-year-old Grandma could get in to it. Co-op is flawless, you feel like you’ve attained a life achievement when you complete it, and you have nothing bad to say about it whatsoever.
Ten Stars
Please reserve this ratings for games that induce the second coming of Jesus.
Seriously, though, only flawless games that have easy set-up, four-next-gens-from-now graphics, and audio that would make Bose sound like Stereo should be considered for this category. You’d give this game to aliens from another planet to show them the golden egg of the gaming culture. You’d make your children play this game every day of their adolescent lives. You’d lay on your death-bed and ask to play this game as your last living memory.
Why so hard on the stars–everyone gives at least nine!
Games that get above a seven should be considered triple A titles that have absolutely no flaws and are insanely well put together. If you’re giving ten stars to a game while writing things that could be considered negative about it in the review, then it’s not really worth ten stars, is it? Ten stars should be considered the holy grail of titles–not the average “if less than 7 it won’t sell” joe.
Be honest in your review. Readers don’t appreciate inflated reviews that lead to a disappointing experience because they were expecting so much more.
